Shut The Door


http://olgamontenegro.wordpress.com/2012/05/13/shut-the-door-love-keep-the-world-outside/

Commenting on this web-blog

I seem to go around in circles when I wake up. Even if a good night’s sleep has rendered me a good 8-9 hours. Naps, really have me discombobulated. I decided to go back to my Dream journals over the years and just made two new pages on the subject of dreaming~lucid and otherwise. Then I searched Dreaming blogs and yours caught my interest. On a added note, Caribbean Blue by Enya has always been a favorite song of mine.

 

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My Hu~Mans


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My Purrby found me at 4 months of age. Just wandered in or someone dropped him nearby. He was always right there. The minute I came home from work he was at my door. I decided to keep him. Then I moved. He found me. I moved again and he found me.

He was always an out door roamer. The last time I heard him at my door I let him in. He had Mittens paws. He was a descendent of Ernest Hemingway’s Snowball.

He stayed until he died in my arms almost 9 years later.

One day I was at the shelter. My heart-felt like it could never replace Purrby. A tiny petite cat came up to me and rubbed my leg. I picked her up and she snuggled her head in my hand. Her name was Minnie and she came home with me that day.

She is almost 10 now.

A few years ago, my daughter came back to share my castle. She brought her two older cats. Minnie was overwhelmed. Eventually they got along and then the girl cat (Cinnamon) had to be put down for health reasons.

They still look for her.

A few months passed and there was a knock at my door. There was baby 12 week old China looking exactly like a twin sister of Cinnamon. I think she was sent too us special delivery  Smile

She has become a part of our family.

So, our purrfections know us, they love us and I do believe they help us.

Even after they go to Rainbow Bridge, they remain forever close to our hearts

Click the Rainbow Bridge for a message from your beloved animal

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Purrby’s Place (A wealth of Information)

China’s Place and Minnie’s Place can be found below. They’re hanging out with the birds and fish.

The Aviary and the Cats

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The Butterfly has Wings


These thoughts were occupying my mind last night as I prepared to sleep. Oddly enough with other things on my mind I dreamed I was back in Tangier. We were remembered and everything seemed so much the same.

Many things are coming to mind.

Changes.

We stay safe in our cocoons, waiting for the right moment when we emerge as the beautiful creature the universe intended us to be.  Ready to fly.

Some persons hate change, they can not cope with it and would prefer everything to stay neat and tiny, organized and comfortable. This is not realistic. Things happen, people do change, they move away, they leave this earthly plane.

Do we have the tendencies to fear change because inevitably someone gets bruised ?

Are our minds so set in not rocking the boat so too speak that we miss the experience all together ?

I believe in living each day the best I can. I deal with situations that arise with minimal thought. I make an effort to NOT over think everything.

I try to not make assumptions and let the universal plan move forward without interference.

When someone we care about (I Love you Long Time) comes to mind. When this person hurts us, disrespects us and gives us so little in regards to what we give or have given them. Perhaps this person is ill, growing older and facing all the changes coming into their life. We know not their heart.

Geez, how much do we know of our own heart ?

An example. A couple is married for many years (26). The husband decides to leave the relationship after the children are grown. The couple do not divorce but live separately for over 5 years. The husband reconsiders what life has presented him with and wants another chance. The wife in the mean time has been struck by loves swift arrow when she wasn’t even looking. The husband is hurt and feels betrayed. How, I ask can he validate his feelings?

It’s as if she has been encased in this small cocoon, safe and sound, waiting to emerge. She used the excuse of perks but no commitment because she was already married. In name only.

As she emerged into the world she realized that love was attainable and she embraced it. At long last she in turn has become the transformation she desired and could finally realize.

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Eclectic Avenue (Cryominute)

Just Faces


Seen the movie Mr. Nice tonight. Buffy had recorded it. We had never heard of it. Yet, it is a true story of drug smuggling, Ireland, and  bureaucracy.
It led me to instigate a word press blog post.  Been a bit non-committal of late with blogging.

I went to my posts on Morocco and found the one that tells the best of Tangier. The streets, the people. The dead chickens swinging in the putrid air.

Road to Tangier

I remember staying late into the night at Baba’s. The cafe the Rolling Stones frequented during visits. It was an ethereal world of burning incense. The swirls of hashish circling and weaving the room covered with mats.

Cafebaba

It must not have bothered me walking down the narrow stairs, the crooked steps that led from Baba’s back into the Medina and then the Petit Succo where we would get a cab the remainder of the way back uptown to 62 Rue Delacroix.

Buffy was invariably sleeping and her dad usually carried her. In retrospect this was a good thing because I would have probably been unable to do so in my state of oblivion.

Months before, when we first came into the city we were broke. I would meet men. My mate would arrange the set ups. I recall it was always in a huge place and others seemed to be doing the same thing so it really didn’t bother me. The man would order a complete feast of food for us. Then I would go off with him and hubby would stay with Buffy. I was never gone long and always came back with a good sum of money.

Mohammad the man who rented the apartment to us grabbed me one day and pinned me up against the wall and fucked me. Things were always fast and impersonal. He had flowers delivered to our apartment and a note saying the rent was free for the following month.

My hubby did not arrange that one it just happened. Many men were called Mohammad. On one occasion I was told to go inside. I looked to see that they had prevented him from entry. I seen him leaning up against the door as I entered the room. That was a bit frightening for me.

After he was busted I was only with Ahmad the man we met on Halloween prior to my husband’s arrest on conspiracy charges.

It was better for me and safer. The other men were just faces in the darkness. Fully dressed, sweaty, fumbling , intense, and in a hurry. That was fine.

Ahmad had a beautiful face. He was in his late 40’s I suppose, married to several women and had many children. He was wealthy and shared his wealth as only Philanthropists do. He resembled Jimi Hendricks and was known as “Hole in the Head” He was also known as “King of the Hashish” The high was dreamy and detached, like that of opium or a sedative-hypnotic prescription drug, combined with a mildly hallucinogenic overlay. It was smoked in a jeweled golden sipsi. My shoes falling behind me as I walked from the hash den, looking down I realized they were on my feet?

Tripping off of smoke

When we returned to the States we could not get high on any pot or hash that our friends said was the best. We had been spoiled and it took some time for the effects we experienced in Tangier to dissipate.

Even now after all these years when I smoke a chillum, take a bong hit or a few tokes I am seemingly reconnected to the same high I experienced in Tangier.

He expanded. When I was there in 1971, he had the back room as the Bain. Then from the back, more pillows and the stairs leading to the loft. I guess he went up, the only way you can go.

Tangiers’ sheltering, and ever inspiring, vividly blue sky.

Ahmed a(h)-med as a boy’s name is pronounced AH-med. It is of Arabic origin, and the meaning of Ahmed is “highly praised or one who constantly thanks God”. One of the many names of the prophet Muhammad, and popular with American Muslims.

Ahmed has 10 variant forms: Achmad, Achmed, Ahmaad, Ahmad, Ahmet, Ahmod, Amad, Amadi, Amahd and Amed.

He gave food and clothing to the children in the mountains in the coldest of winter. Jilbab’s to warm them and shoes for their bare feet.

Jilbab

In every café a picture of him was right there along with the prized picture of King Hassan.  He knew what he wanted and he secured what he wanted. I was his chosen one. Now, I realize I was chosen only until I no longer obeyed him. I obeyed him unknowingly at times, his will had a control over me.

So many chances, and so many times I was in serious circumstances and did not even know the extent of the darkness I had allowed.

This is an attempt at rewriting a chapter of my story about my stay in Tangier. I left so much out.

My Feelings.

Story Excerpt “Jasmine Remains”

I allowed myself to be used by my husband because I felt I needed to survive. Being in a foreign country, having just one person that is supposed to be your savior in all ways to allow such things to happen. Shaking my head at the betrayal of it.

I was raised to believe that you believe in your husband and that you do what needs to be done to keep things operating smoothly. I grew up on that journey. Coming back home to the states it did not take me long to separate myself from him. Maybe it was the times, free love, intoxication of drugs and a different thought process.

Regretfully, but for some unknown reason or reasons I allowed myself to be used and abused in future relationships. My self-esteem seemed to have no cares.

I began to realize that I used men for love and attention. Many years it involved going down the wrong paths and falling into all the wrong holes in the sidewalk.

I feel free.

I am not involved with anyone romantically, but I know if that feeling ever comes my way again I will value and appreciate the powerful force that I am.

I will never allow abuse from anyone in the name of love, drugs or insecurities.

I will no longer be drained by their vampirism need to control. I am in control. I hold my own reigns.

My ongoing journey is progressing smoothly Smile

This song reminds me of my sojourn. It’s Jazz the way I like it too.

Well I’m buckled up inside
It’s a miracle that I’m alive
I do not think I can survive
On bread and wine alone
To think that I could have fallen
A centimeter to the left
Would not be here to see the sunset
Or have myself a time
(refrain)
Well why do the hands of time
So easily unwind
Some lessons we learn the hard way
Some lessons don’t come easy
That’s the price we have to pay
Some lessons we learn the hard way
They don’t come right off and right easy
That’s why they say some lessons learned we learn the hard way
Remember the sound of the pavement
World turned upside down
City streets unlined and empty
Not a soul around
Life goes away in a flash
Right before your eyes
If I think real hard well I reckon
I’ve had some real good times
(refrain)
Well why do the hands of time
So easily unwind
Some lessons we learn the hard way
Some lessons don’t come easy
That’s the price we have to pay
Some lessons we learn the hard way
They don’t come right off and right easy
That’s why they say some lessons learned we learn the hard way

Birdy


This young lady is just 15. Her name is Birdy.

Vampire Diary’s~The New Season Four is a long wait.September, WTF ?

At any rate the Season 3 finale had everyone including Elena gasping for air.

Elena is now a vampire, thanks to Meredith’s intervention at the hospital. When Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen) brought her in, Meredith neglected to tell him that his sister’s injuries were worse than he thought, so she decided to inject some vampire blood in for good measure.

I think I will go back to the beginning and watch all the recordings on UVERSE.

Based on the best-selling book series, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES is the story of two vampire brothers, obsessed with the same gorgeous girl, who are battling to control the fate of an entire town. In season one, Stefan and Damon Salvatore returned to their hometown of Mystic Falls, Virginia, for very different reasons. Stefan was determined to get to know Elena Gilbert, who bears a striking resemblance to Katherine Pierce, the beautiful but ruthless vampire the brothers knew and loved — in 1864. Damon, on the other hand, was intent on releasing Katherine from the tomb where he believed she was trapped by a witch’s spell all those years ago. In the explosive season finale, Elena’s uncle set a plan in motion that saw the return of the vengeful Katherine Pierce.

In season two, Katherine’s appearance and her precise manipulation threw a wrench into the love triangle between Stefan, Elena and Damon. Stefan and Damon later faced their greatest challenge yet — the arrivals of Elijah and Klaus, two of the powerful “original” vampires. Season three revealed the history of Klaus and The Original Family, as well as the surprising friendship Klaus and his sister Rebekah shared with Stefan decades earlier — until Klaus compelled Stefan to forget they’d ever met. In the present day, Klaus’ return led to Stefan’s descent back to his violent “Ripper” ways. Elena and Damon worked together to bring Stefan back from the edge, even as they struggled with the guilt of their growing bond. Meanwhile, Klaus found himself irresistibly drawn to Caroline Forbes, forcing Caroline’s boyfriend, Tyler Lockwood, to break his sire bond to Klaus and claim Caroline as his own. Finally, the life of Alaric Saltzman, Elena and Jeremy’s trusted teacher and guardian, took a terrifying turn when Klaus’ mother, Esther, used witchcraft and Bonnie’s unwilling help to turn Alaric into a powerful vampire who hunts down and destroys other vampires – the ultimate vampire hunter.

Season Four begins with the knowledge that everything is changing. As Elena and her friends enter into the final stretch of high school before graduation sends them off on different paths, their bond to their home town of Mystic Falls takes on a deeper meaning when a new villain seems intent on destroying it.

September-October will be here before I know it.

The original artist who sang this song “Skinny Love” was Bon Iver

Birdy sang it in Season 2 episode “The Sun Also Rises”

By the Window she Waits

Story Between Two People


Preguntas Hermosas  (Beautiful Questions) is a story about a time that was shared between two people. It is told through a combination of Poema X  by Pablo Neruda and Under the Harvest Moon by Carl Sandburg.  It unfolds in three parts; a fond remembrance, loss, and then finally acceptance.

“Poema  X ” of Pablo Neruda in English Translation:

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest lines tonight.

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this I held my arms.

I kissed her again and again under the sky infinity.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.

I not have loved her great still eyes I can write the saddest lines tonight.

Think that I have not.

To feel that I lost.

Hear the immense night, more immense without her.

And the verse falls to the soul as dew to grass. does it matter that my love could not keep!

The night is starry and she is not me.

That is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance. My soul is lost without her. As though to my eyes search.

My heart looks and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.

We, then, no longer we are the same.

I did not love her, true, but how I loved ..

My voice searched the wind to touch her hearing. the other.

Be of another.

As before my kisses. Her voice, her bright body.Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but maybe I love her.

Love is so short and forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this I held my arms, my soul is lost without her .

Although this is the last pain she causes me, and these the last verses that I write.

“Under The Harvest Moon” of Carl Sandburg

 UNDER the harvest moon,
When the soft silver
Drips shimmering
Over the garden nights,
Death, the gray mocker,
Comes and whispers to you
As a beautiful friend
Who remembers.

Under the summer roses

When the flagrant crimson

Lurks in the dusk
Of the wild red leaves,
Love, with little hands,
Comes and touches you
With a thousand memories,
And asks you
Beautiful, unanswerable questions.

“How Many Times, How Many Lies”


I Should have believed…

All the ones who told me about you…

All the times you told me they wanted you back and these bitches were just trying to cause problems because they were desperate and pathetic

I know what it means about the negatives in trashing someone who TOTALLY needs to be trashed.
If I hear one more person tell me “To get over it” I may look like the Scream doll that Edvard Munch painted.
I had a blow up of that also,but I beat it to death.

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Positive feedback:
The sociopathic N is very convincing and charming. I think you should blow the lid off him and expose him fully, even if only for a while. Then remove it. Trust me, Google will keep it forever anyway. Tee-hee. You’d be protecting many women from the same horror.

You want to hear a really good one. As I mentioned in the Letters I will Never send I WAS told so many times about his habits of collecting hearts and kids.
This past one, probably not his last; but at any rate she told me “Move On! Get a life,you are desperate and pathetic

Wonder where she heard that from…OH right, from HIM.

“How Many Times, How Many Lies”

They would try to tell me something

Oh, but I was hearing nothing

When they said you was just playing me

I didn’t listen

I didn’t want to

You couldn’t find a blinder fool

I’m here

Searching through the wreckage

Wondering why the message never got through

And I found I misplaced all of my faith

How could I put my faith in you?

How many times?

How many lies?

How long you been sneaking?

How long you been creeping around?

How many lies?

How many times?

Were you here deceiving

While I was here believing in you

I got to put the blame on myself

Should’ve known with everyone else

Just knowing they knew you was just bad news

I should’ve walked out (I should’ve walked out)

I should’ve seen clear (I should’ve seen clear)

I’m glad your sad ass is out of here

I’ve gone and thrown out all the records

All the ones that ever reminded me of you

I’ve gone and tore up all the pictures

Cause there was not one shred of truth

There were so many times

There were so many lies

I don’t know why I stayed on you

There were so many days

There were so many games

I should’ve thrown your sad ass out

But now the game is through

I’ll never trust in you

I’ve finally got wise

I opened up my eyes

Your game is over

I’ve gone and thrown out all the records

All the ones that ever reminded me of you

I’ve gone and tore up all the pictures

‘Cause there was not one shred of truth

I opened up my eyes

Oh Yeah

Lyrics and song by The Pussycat Dolls

Kokopelli is a fertility deity, usually depicted as a humpbacked flute player (often with a huge phallus and feathers or antenna-like protrusions on his head), who has been venerated by some Native American cultures in the Southwestern United States. Like most fertility deities, Kokopelli presides over both childbirth and agriculture. He is also a trickster god and represents the spirit of music.

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