Music and Missteps


Lady Blue Phoenix Utube Channel

It’s my 71 st Birthday on the 18 th. I finally got a Smartphone. I am on a huge learning curve, but loving it.

A new tattoo.

A furry hamster I call MuMoo. He looks like a black and white cow.

 

I love my UTUBE channel setup especially with my recent installment of Firestick.

I can sit relaxed and comfy in my living room chair without being tied down to my computer chair.

It has been very handy since the incidents in my life lately.

First a shot of cortisone (July 29 th) in my out of whack left hip caused 6 weeks of not being able to lift my leg enough to put undies on. Not a good thing.

Than my fall ( September 26 th 2019) which bruised my buttocks (will not show graphic photo). It has left numerous bumps that are painful to my touch.

Than on the 28th of November I was misting my flowers. A very heavy vintage bottle (Heavier than a iron skillet) fell on my right foot.

Either I am moving at the speed of light or I can not seem to get out of my very own way.

Just another Beautiful day in Beautiful Key West…

(Photo by Mimi)

Not complaining 🙂

 

Seasons Change


I am on my fourth day of not smoking cigarettes. I have smoked everyday since I was 15 years old. I will be 71 on the 18th of this month. I quit Mary-Jane in August of this year. I started smoking POT when my daughter was a baby.  51 years ago.  I quit smoking cigarettes when I was pregnant, the day I had her I started up again. It is a powerful addiction; Nicotine. It is harder to quit than any drug I have ever used and abused.

For my birthday I got another Tattoo. Have not gotten one since my Phoenix in 2009.

My_phoenix_tattoo_thumb.jpg

I got this one on the 27 th.

“Life Is Beautiful”

LoveIt

On to the Blog Post I wrote last night. Thinking is a powerful thing. Best to write it down.

It is what it is

2:35 AM 11/1/2019

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.”

It Was what it Was

Leaving Michigan

Wake up.

Wish I could go back to sleep.

Listen to the same people complaining about the same things.

Emotions

Hoping that I wake up in the morning.

No matter what I did too not wake up, I woke. In a super duper Daze but alive.

Wake up again and repeat.

This was my routine for YEARS before I finally couldn’t take it anymore.

I was possibly more miserable than I’d ever been.

Why wasn’t my life changing ?

So I plodded on, and accepted my life as it was. I tried to make the best of things. And sometimes, it worked, but not for long.

Eventually the feelings of dissatisfaction would return. The feeling of helplessness. Feeling stuck. Wanting to escape.

But there was no way out. I’d be repeating this day forever. And ever.
Let It Go

Around this time, I was reading a lot about how we need to close one door before another can open.

I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore. I just knew I didn’t want what I had.

I had to follow my heart. What if my heart was only telling me what I didn’t want? What if it was refusing to tell me what was next?

What if I closed one door and the other one got stuck?

What then?

I was so afraid of what would happen, I held on for months, hoping for an answer to drop out of the sky.

Until the pain of staying where I was suddenly became too much to bear. I couldn’t take it anymore. Suddenly, what happened next didn’t matter.

I didn’t care.

I saw the madness of what I was doing. Just to survive.
And even surviving wasn’t much fun.

The Brass Key

So I surrendered. I did what I’d felt called to do all along: I said goodbye to the man I’d been clinging to. With no idea of what was coming next. With no income and little money.

But as soon as I made my decision, I felt a huge sense of relief. I wondered what had taken me so long.

Of course, it wasn’t long until the fear crept back in. I had moments when I wondered what I was doing and how I would survive.

But even in those moments of doubt, there was a knowing that leaving my present situation was the right thing to do.

All my life, I’d put survival first. Now it was time to put myself first.

My happiness. My sanity. My peace of mind.

The worst-case scenario may not be so bad. In fact, it might be quite good.

I was lucky. I was never going to be out on the streets ever again. I knew I had the option of returning to stay with my daughter until I sorted myself out. But I really didn’t want to do that. I was far too old for that now. It was the Year 1992

Besides, that would mean living in a town far away from anywhere, with no transport of my own.

Despite my best hopes that something else would magically turn up, I indeed ended up hitch hiking to Key West. I tried telling myself it would be fine, but the scary thoughts were still lurking.

18 Wheels to Key West

However, within a couple of weeks of the move, I saw the new path begin to emerge—chance meetings with like-minded people, work opportunities in unexpected places.

And for the first time in months, I actually felt happy. Because for the first time in my life, I was truly putting myself first. And I was truly living in the present.

Survival was no longer the name of the game.

My own peace of mind and happiness was.

When the pain of being where you are is too much to handle, when life is shoving you in the direction of the unknown, dare to trust it.

As I said, I was lucky. I know not everybody can do exactly as I did. Not everyone has someone who can help them out while they make a drastic life change.

I also know how annoying it can be to be told to change your life when you simply don’t see how. But the point here isn’t to do what I did, but to let go where you can.

You may have to face your own worst-case scenario.

When you begin to take care of yourself, when you follow what feels good for you and put your own physical and mental health first, you’ll find the path will begin to open up. You’ll find support from unexpected places.

You may even find that your worst-case scenario turns out to be the best thing you could have hoped for.

What I’ve learned is that having a plan is overrated.

Sometimes we really do need to let go and see what happens next.

Cynthia_Signature_Small

 

4 20 Wedding


It’s been a whirlwind of activities.Trips from Key West to Orlando.The Bridal Shower back in Feb,than the Rehearsal Dinner,Prep Day,Wedding and reception in April.

The most beautiful and extremely planned wedding in all it’s details and grandeur.

My Granddaughter took the reigns and did such a awesome and wonderful job.

I made several videos on my UTube Channel

This one is amazing.

April 20 2019 Trailer from Cristian Osorio on Vimeo.

Mind’s Eye

The added sweetness of flowers so intoxicating. An aroma that takes your breath away.


special_nOah_dragonfly

 

I was moped riding some of the old streets in Key West. I had a moment where I felt sorry for those who travel here and get stuck on Duval .The money traps and frozen seafood. and hustlers. A church and a bar on every corner.

Key West is so very beautiful if you know where to go. Little hide aways tucked into lush tropical gardens with dragonflies, butterflies and long-legged cranes.

The added sweetness of flowers so intoxicating. An aroma that takes your breath away.

The broken down wooden fishing spot destroyed by Hurricane Irma just a block or so away from me. I must go there and get some photos.

Still it is quite and peaceful to sit on the broken timber.

Notes From Home


Greetings to all of my faithful followers.

I have been very much on vacation of late. I still live on my little island in thee sun.

Due to extreme weather up North the past weeks has been giving us cold and then very warm days. The fluctuations and with the Island being over run with Snowbirds coming down for some sunshine.
Along with them they bring so many unknown virus’s and the Island is sick literally.

Every where you go someone is sick, getting sick or  have been sick for months. The virus presents flu symptoms but is not the Flu.
In November my daughter and I both felt unwell. Than my beautiful cat China decided to take a bite out of my hand which put me in the hospital the next day.

ER_Bound

In December just a trip out to see Christmas lights again brought us down to the Crud status.

Blessed_Earth_Angels

In bed for an entire week with heaviness on chest, headaches from hell, sinus, throat and ear issues. I self doctored and it reared back again like Groundhog Day when he keeps having the same thing happen over and over again.
I am totally over homemade chicken noodle soup.

After a week of suffering, and the fact I was having issues breathing I went to the ER.

I was told their was something in the air here making persons ill. They did not know what it was. They diagnosed it as bronchitis and upper respiratory and prescribed the ZPAK, Inhaler, Prednisone and cough syrup. That settled things down and I am feeling much better.
My daughter is still suffering and is in the line of fire so too speak. She can not afford to miss work and can not rest as she should.

My granddaughter is having her wedding shower on March 2nd and then her wedding on the 20th of April.
Yep, 420 everyone.

So that’s two back to back trips coming up for something I must be well to attend.

In November I finally met a friend I met online back in 2010. We are from the same city, went to the same school and even lived just two doors down from each other.We had never met.  It was an awesome reunion at the Hilton 5 Star Hotel. The 12 hour bus trip by Greyhound was the horrors of the trip. That’s 12 up and 12 back.

She had found me from my now extinct web site zimbabast, searching for a Kinkling recipe, a tradition in February with the locals of Frederick, Maryland.
Last year I did not make my fabulous cherry cheesecake on Heart Day because my precious Minnie Kat was dying. She turned 15 on Valentines and passed on March 7 th 2018.

See featured image of my precious Minnie.

I miss her so much.

This year I made two pies and gave slices of heaven to special ones.

HeartDay_Joy
My favorite music of late is Sleeping at Last.

I have also recently set up a 10 gallon fish tank. I put in 3 females and 2 males. I am now overwhelmed with so many baby fry. It is beautiful to watch them. I feel like Mother Hubbard who had a shoe with so many children she didn’t know what to do.

New_Guppie_Tank

With my fish, cat, 8 birds and a sweet furry hamster  I call Chibi, my life is always on a roll.

Chibi_She

red-signature-with-red-tan-heart-.png

Until next time.

Be Well and Happy.

Remembering Crikey


 

Irwins-Than

This is a post I created when Steve died.It was located in my zimbabast web pages that are no longer on the web.I kept the HTML of all pages. This past week I have been watching the new series on his family and how they have carried on and preserved his passion for wildlife.

The morning of September 4th 2006 I was watching the news. It was Labor Day Holiday.

I had went to put a pot of coffee on and heard the shocking words that now have become a mainstay here and around the world.

The Wildlife Warrior, our Crocodile Hunter was dead.

He died on the 4th, he was 44.

I thought how strange, those numbers.

Many believe 444 means an angel is close by

In Doreen Virtue’s book on Angel Numbers, she describes the meaning of 444 as, “Thousands of angels surround you at this moment loving and supporting you. You have a very strong and clear connection with the angelic realm, and are an Earth angel yourself. You have nothing to fear, all is well.”

In disbelief and shock, my tears began falling.

As I went about my day the airways were filled with the news.

The unbelievable news that he was gone.

The man who seemed invincible had been swimming off the coast of the Great Barrier Reef.

He swam over the gentle giant of the sea, also affectionately called the bird of the sea and suddenly without reason or why was stung when the tail pierced his chest and lodged in his heart.

The news reported that he pulled the serrated barb out and was unconscious when brought up to his boat “The Croc1″

Terri and children were hiking in Tasmania and had not received word.

That is behind us now.

The fireside memorial held for family and closest of friends has been held at his beloved Australian Zoo, the Grand Memorial where his favorite song” True Blue” was sung by Mr. Williamson was presented at the Crocoseum,built by Steve for his feedings of his beloved DOLLS or Dinosaurs as he called them.

His daughter Bindi spoke so endearing of him, her father who she said she would miss every day and when seeing a crocodile would forever think of him.

The day that popular television personality Steve “Crocodile Hunter” Irwin died was the day his wife, Terri, says she lost her prince.

Terri, his beloved soul mate has spoken with Barbara Walters on 20/20.

“Soulmates are people who bring out the best in you.

They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.”

“Despite the loss of her husband, Terri says she still feels blessed that she had him in her life. “I had romance like I didn’t think existed anymore, a wonderful romance. He was passionate and determined and enthusiastic.”

“Steve changed the world.”

Terri says he changed the world by giving everyone a message.

“If you can reach out and touch and love and be with wildlife, you will forever be changed and you will want to make the world a better place. … If we do nothing … we’re in trouble. And he did more than anybody. So I think we can all do something.”

“He was fun.

He taught me it’s OK to play in the rain. And splash in my puddle. And let the kids get dirty. And spill ice cream on your pants.

He didn’t sweat the little stuff.

He followed the big picture.

And he had fun!

Now I’m going to work really hard at having fun again. …

I’m Mrs. Steve Irwin.

I’ve got a lot to live up to.”

Glass House Mountains Tourist Drive in respect and memory of Steve and all his conservation efforts has been renamed it “The Steve Irwin Way”

Though it did not make any of the television specials and retrospectives, one of my favorite tributes came on a radio phone-in show on the afternoon that Steve Irwin was killed.

A young mother chirpily recalled the day that her young infant managed to perform potty duties

For the first time without any mishaps.

In celebration, she told her proud young son that he could call anyone in the world to share

the good news.

“I want to call the Croc Hunter,” came the cry.

The moments,hours,days,weeks have gone by.

“flat out like a lizard drinking”

British poet Sydney Dobell wrote this eulogy in 1854

Nature, a jealous mistress, laid him low.

He woo’d and won her; and, by love made bold,

she show’d him more than mortal man should know,

Then slew him lest her secret should be told.

And yet, those rare few still lean ever closer, hungry for a hint or a whisper nature knows them or understands them or loves them like they love her. Or she even knows they exist.

That she doesn’t is chilling or comforting, the only constant.
Karen Bishop’s words helped me get through this grief.

From her post:

His departure could not have been more perfect. He was interacting with a representative of the animal kingdom. What we are about, always comes into our arena, as like energies always attract like energies. This incredible creature from the sea, volunteered to assist with the soul decision of Steve Irwin to depart. This man had a tremendous amount of heart. He oozed it wherever he went and with all he encountered. What a perfect alignment then, to go out through the energy of the heart.

The combination of the heart energy, the animal kingdom, and Steve Irwin created a perfect alignment for who he was in all ways.

And this was the energetic portal that he left through.

CRIKEY!!!!!

WE MISS YOU!

This Memorial was Written and Created by Cynthia

September 29th 2006.

 

Enneagram Numbers

I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses.
– Friedrich Nietzsche


H A P P Y  H A L L O W E E N

Great to read this blog by:

The song that brought me to this awesome and remarkable music was posted by a friend. It was called “Saturn”. It is mesmerizing, the lights, the words.

Blessings of Hope and Love to all those experiencing the darkness of nights.

 

Many are of the equation that our Life Path number and our Enneagram number are the same. Upon much research I have found this to be true only occasionally and not in every instance. My life path is 6 but my Enneagram is 5.

The word Enneagram comes from two Greek words and simply means, “nine pointed diagram.” Knowledge of the Enneagram may go back several thousand years

While the Enneagram system shares little with traditional Christian doctrine or spirituality, it also shares little with the methods and criteria of modern science.

This is so ME:

The drive to understand

The fear in not having the answers

Self Protect

Mental exploration

Complex

Non Attachment

Boundaries

Withdrawn

Faithful friend

Privacy

Research

Inquisitive

Lives in a mind castle

Deeply Sensitive

Emotional detachment

Over Think

Withdraw socially

Introverted

Seek to understand anything and everything

Almost always Right

Looking ahead

Fives sometimes deal with this by developing a minimalist lifestyle in which they make few demands on others in exchange for few demands being made on them.

Simplicity

Synchronicity

Lyrics:

Sleeping At Last (Five)

I want to watch the universe expand
I want to break it into pieces, small enough to understand
And put it all back together again

In the quiet of my private collection
It feels like an out of body experience
But something gets lost from a safe distance

And now I can’t put my mind to rest
And I can’t help but second guess
Living behind this one-way mirror
I’m hypnotized by this anomaly
Such strange uncharted territory

A white flag waves in the dark between my head and my heart
My armor falls apart
As if I could let myself be seen, even deeply known
Like I was already brave enough to let go

And now I want to generously lose
This energy that I’ve been hanging onto so desperately

I finally feel the universe expand—
It’s hidden in heartbeats, exhales
And in the hope of open hands

All lyrics can be found here:

https://www.musixmatch.com/artist/Sleeping-At-Last#

Sources:

“a song for each of the nine unique and beautiful Enneagram types. It is all about Human Life. More particularly, it’s about involuntary human development – the basic foundation that the Human experience is built upon. The vital ingredients that we were born with.”

Ryan O’Neal

All About the Man

http://www.sleepingatlast.com/about/

I had heard much of his music in various TV programs and commercials and they always resonated so much with me. Since finding “Sleeping At Last” I feel as if a light-bulb has been lit permanently in my mind.

Podcast on the making of the ENNEAGRAM Atlas Two Series

http://www.sleepingatlast.com/blog/2018/6/8/five

http://www.sleepingatlast.com/atlas

Find out your ENNEAGRAM NUMBER

https://lonerwolf.com/enneagram-test/

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions/

I edited the photo with Corel Paintshop Pro 8.

“I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses.

– Friedrich Nietzsche