I have been going through a lot of my own issues concerning how my life evolved and decisions I made along the way.
My shadow side still tries me at times…it’s not a place I like to dwell in.
Excerpt:taken from About the Shadow
“Another way to spot your shadows is to look for things you find yourself doing by accident. No matter how hard you try to keep your bag sealed, your shadows may leak out in a way that seems beyond your control. For example, you may promise yourself that you’re going to spend more time with your family, when you actually spend more time at work. You may find yourself jumping into a questionable relationship, when you know that this person isn’t right for you. You may ignore your own rules about eating, smoking or drinking. When you repeat a pattern of behavior involuntarily, it is a sign that your shadow is running the show
I have been keeping notes on sub conscious thoughts.My Shadow Cards…tools for self-refection and revealing the unconscious.
I was a very manipulative stubborn person growing up and it seemed to escalate into my marriages and divorces.
There were times when because of religious beliefs (Jehovah’s Witness) on my mama’s part she completely cut me out…the longest time was for 12 years.During this time Rhea,her dad and I traveled to Europe (1971) and lived in Tangier for nearly a year.
No one knew our where a bouts except a select few and my parents were not among the select.
Years later she told me that everyday she was concerned if we were well,alive or dead…if we were warm and had enough to eat.Today I feel bad that I worried her like that,I can only say I must have had extreme issues my self to show so little love and compassion for her.
It was like I wanted to make her suffer as she had made me feel so unwanted and unloved.
Today I am so on the unconditional love…and try not to judge another unless I have walked there walk,in their shoes so too speak.
My mama died in 2004, my dad in 2001. They were both 79.Married for 56 years.
I told my daughter yesterday I wished I could talk too Mama.
We went too Snipes and I wore my mama’s sun hat.She was with me all day.The moments were like epiphanies.
My daughter was crying and so emotionally bankrupt last evening when she returned home.
What a mess.
I tell her she has HER LIFE.
I mentioned people do the best they can with what they have at the time.
I look at her and see an emotional empty 16-year-old. The one that (her husband) found and took under his wing for 23 years. The children came and she poured every bit of her being into them.
Now the kids are grown and live on their own.
She is separated but has no plans.The kids moved on with there lives.
The kids are striving yet thriving.My granddaughter (21) is a CMA (Certified Medical Assistant).My Grandson works full-time,he is 25.
I thought bringing her here she would possibly see the beauty in life again.
I wanted her to see the beautiful, smart and strong woman who is hiding from her.
Everyone has a story, issues.
Everyone perceives them in their own way.
It is YOU that has to work through them, facing head on and dissolving the conflicts.