I couldn’t find the online link,just an old email on backup.
I have often times been given the gift of rubber bands ~you know once your mind is stretched you can never go back.
Nothing will be the same again story.
RubberBand Man or of course gender is woman also.
We are wo-man after all
OK,here goes…Oh and BTW the problem with Rubberbands no one knows for certain how far you can safely stretch it or someone else’s before it Snaps
WOW (Wish Only Well)
For all our Rubberband Men and Woman
Rubber Band Man (Copyright 2003 Ron McCray)
Consider the rubber band. It is a continuous loop of flexible material that in its natural state is relaxed and adapts to where it happens to be placed in the moment. It can be stretched to be larger than it seems. This can only happen through force, by being stretched beyond its natural circumference. When the force is released, the rubber band “snaps” back into its original state. Sometimes a rubber band is stretched too far or too and breaks losing the completeness of its original configuration, and in effect, becoming useless. Although this fate is not visited on all rubber bands, the potential is always there for all of them.
Sometimes, I think I am rubber band man.
I was created whole like the rubber band in its original shape of a continuous loop. Wholeness is my natural state of loving acceptance of all around me and myself. Do I find myself in that state often? For a long time, I was almost never in that state, then I began to awaken, and realized that I had allowed myself to be stretched and pulled over and over until I believed I would be broken, or I would break myself. I did learn how to release the forces that pulled me one way or the other. When I could do that, I returned to the perfection of being whole and relaxed; I was simply myself in the absence of being pulled by external forces.
Who and what are these external forces?
I could categorize them into a long list. In my life, some of the most powerful ones are: parents, family, teachers, schoolmates, friends, religious authorities, governments, politicians, bosses, military superior officers, and partners to name a few. Whatever the list, there is a commonality that they all share. They all are driven by one motivation aimed directly at me. One shared goal that seems unrelenting and purposeful.
The people who tugged (and still do) on my rubber band self wanted me to be someone other than who I was. My natural, rubber band state of being comfortable with who and where I was constituted an affront to them. They believed I should be different, recreated in the image of someone they thought would be a “better” person (in the most benign sense) to an evil scoundrel (in the most vilified sense). I must confess that I too have tugged on a few rubber bands myself…
Why would any of us do this to one another or allow it to be done to ourselves?
Like so many “systems,” we rubber band men and women are products of a perfect, self-perpetuating state. There is a cycling of energy that feeds on itself in a kind of conservation of energy. On one pole of the system is the self-belief that I am not really a worthy person deserving of love for being simply who I am in my natural rubber band state. I am conditioned to morph myself into whatever someone wants me to be in order to gain the acceptance of that person. On the other pole, I am quick to motivate others to be whoever I think they should be in order to gain my acceptance. The cycling revolves between gaining acceptance and demanding acceptance. We all do it.
One moment I occupy the high ground and am demanding a certain behavior from someone attempting to gain my favor (an employee or child for example), and the next moment I am on the low ground looking up at my boss and shaping myself to his expectations – rubber bands pulling other rubber bands.
Have you heard the expression, “I am about to snap?”
How can people pull and stretch me into shapes that are not in my highest and best interest?
Why don’t I just say no?
The answer lies in my childhood when I was not physically strong enough to resist being pulled and reshaped. Were you ever manhandled as a child into being a good little boy or girl?
At that stage of life, resistance is indeed futile, and the quicker I learned to let myself be pulled and shaped, the “easier” life became. I was a good little boy because the alternatives were not pleasant. By the time I became physically able to defend myself, I had forgotten why I would want to. I was locked into the closed system of pulling and being pulled depending on the circumstances. “This is the way life is so get used to it.”
“Do it to them before they do it to you.”
“Love me or else.”
“I’ll be whoever you want me to be, just don’t leave me.”
“What can I do to make you happy?”
The forms of intimidating and beseeching are endless. Take a look at contemporary movies and television if you don’t want to look at your life. The plots of dramas (and many comedies) are full of characters pulling rubber bands and having their own pulled. This is the bread and butter of entertainment. I pay money to watch rubber band men and women playing out the dynamics of my life, only theirs are more dramatic and entertaining than mine.
What eventually happens to rubber bands? They break or they don’t. They break from being pulled too hard, too often.
Eventually, the material looses its ability to remain intact when stretched after a lifetime of being pulled again and again. Sometimes we call this insanity, and sometimes we call it death.
What about the rubber bands that don’t break?
Some of the rubber bands go off and live in a cave or a hut someplace where there are no other rubber bands around to tug on them, or they live in a cloistered, small society where all have agreed that they will lovingly accept each other. I don’t think there are too many people in either circumstance. For most of us, including me, it is necessary to remain in the “everyday” world where rubber band pullers and pullees abound.
For us rubber bands in that category, there is a way… At least some of the time, I have learned to be aware when my rubber band is beginning to be tugged, kind of like when the fish is nibbling at the bait, the fisherman sees the telltale subtle movements of his float. I then have the choice of taking off my Rubber Band Man suit.
I become Real Person. Real Person knows that he is lovable and acceptable just the way he is. Real Person also knows that instead of dictating to rubber bands who will accept abuse to gain his acceptance, he can give them the greatest gift of all: to simply accept that person as whosoever the person is without intent to change him or her.
How weak is your rubber band? How much longer before it breaks? Now is the time to have awareness of being pulled and of pulling. With awareness, you can take off the Rubber Band Man/Woman suit and become Real Person. It is so much more rewarding.
I really don’t know a lot. It seems the older I get, the less I know except what I do know becomes more and more important to my ability to create fulfillment and harmony in my life. Here are a couple of items that fall in that category. First, the past is irrelevant except as a teacher, so I work at letting the past go and not projecting it into the present or my prediction of what the future holds. Clinging to my past gives the pullers of my rubber band an anchor from which to yank on me.
When I let go of “meanings” in my past, those anchors dissolve.
When I do journey into my past, I return with only the lessons that will support me in the present. The circumstances and people who contributed to the lessons don’t really matter. Their job is done.
Second, The Rubber Band Man analogy is simply another way of presenting the most fundamental principle of spiritual evolution: I live in either a state of fear or a state of love. In any moment I can choose which one. When I choose to not allow my rubber band to be pulled, I am loving myself. When I choose to not pull another rubber band, I am loving that person. The choices between love and fear determine the quality of my life. It is that simple and I realize that it is not always easy.
I wish your rubber band well.
“Don’t believe everything you think~ don’t think about every thing you believe.”
Simply Enjoy The Ride.