The Dark


Each person will experience his or her darkness in this lifetime. It is just dressed in many different clothes, but it comes down to the same thing. Feeling a separation from the source of love. A feeling of disconnection.


Contemporary Shaman

 From earliest times people have believed that the dead can return from the grave to visit their loved ones. Certainly an evil criminal or someone, who has been the victim of such a one, can return after death as a ghost. These tormented souls can haunt the world of the living until someone helps them to find peace. – Molly Perham (ghouls & monsters)

 As children, we often remember our elders telling us that there was no such thing as a ghost, and the thing hiding under our bed scaring us silly is simply not real.  Our parents would tuck us in and reassure us that we were completely safe, we felt protected from the bogeyman (momentarily).

 As adults many of us have grown out of being afraid of the dark. The fears of today are ones we all seem to have in common, war, physical attack, bankruptcy, relationships…

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Lost In My Castle

Well, I really can’t tell you what’s going on, but it IS very annoying to say the least. Sometimes, I think SOMEONE is REALLY playing mind games with me. For instance, I knew I had a whole bottle of Windex. I wanted to do the windows… Well, anyways I couldn’t find the Windex in its usual little place, like where all the cleaning supplies are kept (organized I am). I said well heck I’ll just make my own with vinegar and water. The windows look great. When he came home, I casually asked him if he taken the Windex to the boat. When something is missing that’s usually where it is. He said “NO”. Then today I go in the bathroom and there it is sitting pretty as ya please on the towel rack rod. Like big as life it’s self, I asked him did ya put the Windex on the towel rack and he looks at me as if I have lost my mind.

OK,  then yesterday,  we are getting ready to go to the store. The little mailbox that is a home for my stamps resides on the shelf above the computer. It fell. It is a magnet that is or rather was attached to another larger magnet.  Anywho, I find the little mailbox~ the magnet it was on has disappeared into space? I have searched this whole room …cause PC’s don’t like magnets. I even went through the garbage can thinking it may have fallen in there. Another missing and curious thing.

Ok, then now today…this is a kicker. I have this very large colorful dust buster. I use it everyday. I just used it yesterday. The perfect tool for ceiling fans and those pain in the ass venetian blinds. I cleaned both yesterday. Now, I need it and It is among the missing . I am going to make a file and call it  LOST and FOUND or lost and never found.  In my very own abode no less.

I read a article just recently that said misplaced and thought to be lost items are not really the case. The items are wherever you put them. Yeah right!

The largest item I ever lost was my car. Well, actually it was a friend’s car. I actually called the police and reported it stolen. I was very embarrassed when they called and said they had located it. They mentioned that it seemed OK. They had located it exactly where I had left it.
A few friends and I had went out partying after work. I left the car at my place of employment and rode with the others. The next morning, I was at a loss, missing CAR 🙂

My list goes on, simple things, like favorite container bowls that I watch like a hawk. I don’t do this so much anymore since most of my Tupperware has disappeared, I have replaced it with those great little use, lose or throw-away containers.
Then there’s my favorite vegetable peeler that decided to leave my silverware drawer. It’s too large to go down the drain, although missing small paring knifes have been known too. That is another story.

I decided to make candles one day. Twas the Christmas season and I thought I would create some beautiful gifts. It was my first and shall I say last attempt at candle making. The wax was very hot and dripped into the sink. I immediately ran HOT water but it just as quickly solidified and clogged my entire plumbing up. When the rotor-router plumber guy came, I of course pretended I had no idea what could have caused it. He eventually had to break the pipes; inside he found a solid mass and mess of candle wax along with my new tiny favorite paring knifes.

I know this all sounds very trivial and I should really worry about larger things, like world conditions and such. I just can’t help it.

I am obsessive-compulsive by default and fault. When I decide to do spring cleaning, I will make a list of what I discard so I don’t spend needed energy looking for it on another given day.

I wrote this years ago but am still having the same issues.

Some things never change Smile

I think my cat hides things from me also…it’s a conspiracy I tell ya!

Then of course the ever ending Missing Sock Scenario…

Going Down the Computer Highway

HP Pavilion Slimline s5310f

This is the system I bought in 2010. The one I bought in 2009 won’t start up. I believe an electrical zap took the brains of it. I did replace the power supply to no avail. So, a practically brand new Slim HP sits in my closet or is used as a door stop on occasion.

My original Compaq I bought in 2000 lasted nearly 10 years.

My humble beginnings in Cyber World.

First Computer

My first experience in the world of computers was in the year 94, well actually 92. Back then it was so alien to me I didn’t give it a second thought. When I visited my sister in Texas in 94 the PC bug finally bit me. On that visit of one week I had a video taken by my sister. I was learning a few things on the computer and the pictures tell a thousand words. I was like a kid in kindergarten. But, I was hooked.

In 1998, I decided it was time to do something about it. I enrolled in a small computer class. I was learning and then I became ill and could not complete the course. I did not give up. I purchased a PC at the local pawn shop for $300. in Jan 2000. Little I knew. It was a great little PC to learn on and LEARN I did. I subscribed to PC Magazine and PC World. Later, I found the best for learning new and old tricks is with Smart Computing, my favorite. First thing I found out is you can’t get very far on the internet with a ancient 486 and 100 mhz. The most I could do was email so I signed on with AOL.

My sister began sending me word files which I still have. They consisted of stories, poetry and Just words mainly.
I decided since I couldn’t be a internet surfer I would finally settle in to writing my story about my life in Tangiers in 1971. It turned out very nice and I have since embedded pictures into it.

Back to the puter. I was learning by trial and error and let me tell you it was mostly errors. For example, when I brought the PC home from the pawn shop, I sit it all up very carefully. The first thing I did was get the online connection which I found to be almost useless. Paying almost $22 a month just to send email!  I then decided that I would check the old machine out. Should have thought of that before… but I was determined to have a puter. In checking it out, I found that it belonged to a man named Richard. The first thing I did was get my name in where his resided. That was a feat in itself and required the assistance of my very own dear computer guru (Yogi). He took me into the regedit (register) and very carefully walked me through the steps to just change my name. I thought this is really going to be a step forward in mind control.

Then, I thought I will see what this little machine can do. The A drive was not functional and I found out later you first have to have a disk in the drive. It was a aha moment. Then a lot of files that I was looking into would just not open. They had some kind of open with popup?

I did not have a clue as to what to open with so I deleted it. I deleted hundred’s of files and thought now I have a machine I can work with. Well, that was the biggest blunder of them all.

I had deleted so many system files that its a wonder the puter even booted. I then unplugged everything and took it to my other favorite guru. His name is Scott. I said I have saved my documents, do what you must. He said the most he could do on such a medieval PC was to reformat it. I said well Ok, can you put Windows 98 in it?  It was running W-95.

He said I will reformat and put W-95 back with a few 98 functions. I said OK. He did finally get it back to me 3 weeks later. I now had a fully functional slow as molasses W-95 PC with only 32 in memory. It was so old he couldn’t add any more memory.

Oh well, I would do what I could and I learned on that machine. I read and studied and practiced and then I was ready.

I started making inquires into computers. I planned on this computer for a whole year. I couldn’t type that well, so I knew I wanted a system that was not terribly expensive but had perks I could work with. I decided on a Compaq Presario learning series PC. I also purchased a scanner and printer. It also came with a cam. I was ecstatic.

The date Oct 5th 2000. The OS system was the just released Windows ME. The first 6 months I thought I would literally go bonkers. I now know that even a brand new Puter with the most recent operating system is old the day it leaves the warehouse. After numerous updates and many headaches, factory restores, system restores, I can finally say on this day Jan 8th 2002 that PC and me are hugely happy.
In closing this little story I would like to say these things to any person stepping up to the keys to any computer:


The old computer was given as a learning present to my grandchildren for Christmas 2000. My grandson almost immediately installed programs and filled it up to the max. Then he deleted somethings and the computer died.

Written by Cynthia M-R (ZIMBA SHIMA) on Jan 8th 2002

Drowning in Key West



It has rained here for days. The skies look like the movie “The Day after Tomorrow” Dark and foreboding.

But, you know when you have lemons you make lemonade.

We had an awesome BBQ aka picnic without the sand and sea. It has been three weekends for me that I have not been in the water for one reason or the other.

The weather forecast for the next week is more of the same. I have lived here 20 years and never have I seen this.

The airport is closed.

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Inner Body Vibrations & Other Unusual Symptoms « TRANSITIONS


Inner Body Vibrations & Other Unusual Symptoms « TRANSITIONS.

An ongoing process I suppose. I have all these, had the buzz in the body yesterday and the hum in my ears.

My cat Minnie has it too…IBS.


Ink Blot Tests

Felt the need to use my brain today Smile

First I did word association (Jung)

Then I did an online ink blot test. The results were so funny. I said what I saw and this was my results.

Something to worry about and sheep ????

Test Results
Sickness Quotient: 87%
Your “Sickness Quotient” of 87% is definitely something to worry about.

Detailed Diagnosis
Interpersonal Insights
Your friends (both of them) think you’re a total clod. As long as you continue to buy the beer, however, they’ll still be your pals. You think everyone is out to get you, and you’re absolutely right. It’s because you’re an awful person without any redeeming qualities.

Job Performance & Attitude

Your attitude towards work is that you could watch others do it all day long. You work very slowly. In fact, if you went any slower you’d be in reverse.

Personality Insight
Your personal motto is “Find something you love, and do it.” Unfortunately, your test results indicate you really love sheep.


collaboration of creativity

The ten inkblots

Below are the ten inkblots of the Rorschach test printed in Rorschach’s Rorschach Test – Psych diagnostic Plates together with the most frequent responses for either the whole image or the most prominent details according to various authors.

Popular responses


Rorschach blot 01.jpg

bat, butterfly, moth

bat (53%), butterfly (29%)

Dana (France):
butterfly (39%)

When seeing card I, subjects often inquire on how they should proceed, and questions on what they are allowed to do with the card (e.g. turning it) are not very significant. Being the first card, it can provide clues about how subjects tackle a new and stressful task. It is not, however, a card that is usually difficult for the subject to handle, having readily available popular responses.

Rorschach blot 02.jpg

two humans

four-legged animal (34%, gray parts)

Dana (France):
animal: dog, elephant, bear (50%, gray)

The red details of card IIare often seen as blood, and are the most distinctive features. Responses to them can provide indications about how a subject is likely to manage feelings of anger or physical harm. This card can induce a variety of sexual responses.

Rorschach blot 03.jpg

two humans (gray)

human figures (72%, gray)

Dana (France):
human (76%, gray)

Card IIIis typically perceived to contain two humans involved in some interaction, and may provide information about how the subject relates with other people (specifically, response latency may reveal struggling social interactions).

Rorschach blot 04.jpg

animal hide, skin, rug

animal skin, skin rug (41%)

Dana (France):
animal skin (46%)

Card IV is notable for its dark color and its shading (posing difficulties for depressed subjects), and is generally perceived as a big and sometimes threatening figure; compounded with the common impression of the subject being in an inferior position (“looking up”) to it, this serves to elicit a sense of authority. The human or animal content seen in the card is almost invariably classified as male rather than female, and the qualities expressed by the subject may indicate attitudes toward men and authority. Because of this Card IV is often called “The Father Card”.[68]

Rorschach blot 05.jpg

bat, butterfly, moth

butterfly (48%), bat (40%)

Dana (France):
butterfly (48%), bat (46%)

Card Vis an easily elaborated card that is not usually perceived as threatening, and typically instigates a “change of pace” in the test, after the previous more challenging cards. Containing few features that generate concerns or complicate the elaboration, it is the easiest blot to generate a good quality response about.

Rorschach blot 06.jpg

animal hide, skin, rug

animal skin, skin rug (41%)

Dana (France):
animal skin (46%)

Texture is the dominant characteristic of card VI, which often elicits association related to interpersonal closeness; it is specifically a “sex card”, its likely sexual percepts being reported more frequently than in any other card, even though other cards have a greater variety of commonly seen sexual contents.

Rorschach blot 07.jpg

human heads or faces (top)

heads of women or children (27%, top)

Dana (France):
human head (46%, top)

Card VIIcan be associated with femininity (the human figures commonly seen in it being described as women or children), and function as a “mother card”, where difficulties in responding may be related to concerns with the female figures in the subject’s life. The center detail is relatively often (though not popularly) identified as a vagina, which makes this card also relate to feminine sexuality in particular.

Rorschach blot 08.jpg

animal: not cat or dog (pink)

four-legged animal (94%, pink)

Dana (France):
four-legged animal (93%, pink)

People often express relief about card VIII, which lets them relax and respond effectively. Similar to card V, it represents a “change of pace”; however, the card introduces new elaboration difficulties, being complex and the first multi-colored card in the set. Therefore, people who find processing complex situations or emotional stimuli distressing or difficult may be uncomfortable with this card.

Rorschach blot 09.jpg

human (orange)


Dana (France):

Characteristic of card IXis indistinct form and diffuse, muted chromatic features, creating a general vagueness. There is only one popular response, and it is the least frequent of all cards. Having difficulty with processing this card may indicate trouble dealing with unstructured data, but aside from this there are few particular “pulls” typical of this card.

Rorschach blot 10.jpg

crab, lobster, spider (blue)

crab, spider (37%, blue),
rabbit head (31%, light green),
caterpillars, worms, snakes (28%, deep green)

Dana (France):

Card X is structurally similar to card VIII, but its uncertainty and complexity are reminiscent of card IX: people who find it difficult to deal with many concurrent stimuli may not particularly like this otherwise pleasant card. Being the last card, it may provide an opportunity for the subject to “sign out” by indicating what they feel their situation is like, or what they desire to know.

The Allure of the Cluster B Mindfuck « Phoenix Rising

I had to reread this, for a minute it seemed as if I had written it. I suppose it is the same with all ninnyhammers that somehow maneuver into our lives. I have an entire blog where almost every post is dedicated to one in particular.


Only victims of Cluster B types can understand how much time is spent in the aftermath trying to sort out all these details and figure out what actually happened, who knew what, and how much was lies and manipulation.”

via The Allure of the Cluster B Mindfuck « Phoenix Rising.

The problem with sex

Most of psychoanalysis forms around the use of a sofa for the patient where the psychologist is behind the patient. I think I would enjoy both sides.On the couch or in the chair.
Most of psychoanalysis forms around the use of a sofa for the patient where the psychologist is behind the patient. I think I would enjoy both sides.On the couch or in the chair.

Last evening I watched a wonderful movie based on Jung,Freud and the relationship both had with Sabina Spielrein. It is called ” A Dangerous Method”
She later became the first female psychoanalyst in her field of choice.
She and her two daughters were shot to death along with 27,000 others by the orders of Stalin.

The problem with sex.