Mind Maze


WHYYYYYY??

I am so feeling so much. I went too see my friend, we drank and listened to music, I couldn’t stop thinking. Everything came back, all the loves, the memories of hot lusty connections, The reasons why and the reasons.

A good thing, it makes me realize how life is a continuous motion. How people we care about continually somehow integrate in our lives.

They are a part of us, they never leave

WHY????

Do we actually dwell on these past histories?

WHY????

I would like to too have an occasional intoxication where these things do not occupy.

I am content, so why hash over what if’s and what has becomes?

I am feeling good about my openness, someday my great grandchildren will know me.

I am so unique, that is so special.

I have no regrets.

Regrets mean you did NOT learn and I learned.

I used and abused as I was used and abused.

Goes two ways.

I really don’t care who reads this and who may be helped by my words in some form or fashion.

We are here on this planet, in this life.

Our life goes on day by day.

I CARE.

I Feel.

I experience newness  in every day I am blessed with.

I want too live to be a 100 or more…and I want my words and wisdom to survive me.

Bless anyone who reads this…always.

 

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Just Faces


Seen the movie Mr. Nice tonight. Buffy had recorded it. We had never heard of it. Yet, it is a true story of drug smuggling, Ireland, and  bureaucracy.
It led me to instigate a word press blog post.  Been a bit non-committal of late with blogging.

I went to my posts on Morocco and found the one that tells the best of Tangier. The streets, the people. The dead chickens swinging in the putrid air.

Road to Tangier

I remember staying late into the night at Baba’s. The cafe the Rolling Stones frequented during visits. It was an ethereal world of burning incense. The swirls of hashish circling and weaving the room covered with mats.

Cafebaba

It must not have bothered me walking down the narrow stairs, the crooked steps that led from Baba’s back into the Medina and then the Petit Succo where we would get a cab the remainder of the way back uptown to 62 Rue Delacroix.

Buffy was invariably sleeping and her dad usually carried her. In retrospect this was a good thing because I would have probably been unable to do so in my state of oblivion.

Months before, when we first came into the city we were broke. I would meet men. My mate would arrange the set ups. I recall it was always in a huge place and others seemed to be doing the same thing so it really didn’t bother me. The man would order a complete feast of food for us. Then I would go off with him and hubby would stay with Buffy. I was never gone long and always came back with a good sum of money.

Mohammad the man who rented the apartment to us grabbed me one day and pinned me up against the wall and had his way with me. Things were always fast and impersonal. He had (Red Roses) delivered to our apartment and a note saying the rent was free for the following month.

My hubby did not arrange that one. Many men were called Mohammad. On one occasion I was told to go inside. I looked to see that they had prevented him from entry. I seen him leaning up against the door as I entered the room. That was a bit frightening for me.

After he was busted I was only with Ahmad the man we met on Halloween prior to my husband’s arrest on conspiracy charges.

It was better for me and safer. The other men were just faces in the darkness. Fully dressed, sweaty, fumbling , intense, and in a hurry. That was fine.

Ahmad had a beautiful face. He was in his late 40’s I suppose, married to several women and had many children. He was wealthy and shared his wealth as only Philanthropists do. He resembled Jimi Hendricks and was known as “Hole in the Head” He was also known as “King of the Hashish” The high was dreamy and detached, like that of opium or a sedative-hypnotic prescription drug, combined with a mildly hallucinogenic overlay. It was smoked in a jeweled golden sipsi. My shoes falling behind me as I walked from the hash den, looking down I realized they were on my feet?

Tripping off of smoke

When we returned to the States we could not get high on any pot or hash that our friends said was the best. We had been spoiled and it took some time for the effects we experienced in Tangier to dissipate.

Even now after all these years when I smoke a chillum, take a bong hit or a few tokes I am seemingly reconnected to the same high I experienced in Tangier.

He expanded. When I was there in 1971, he had the back room as the Bain. Then from the back, more pillows and the stairs leading to the loft. I guess he went up, the only way you can go.

Tangiers’ sheltering, and ever inspiring, vividly blue sky.

Ahmed a(h)-med as a boy’s name is pronounced AH-med. It is of Arabic origin, and the meaning of Ahmed is “highly praised or one who constantly thanks God”. One of the many names of the prophet Muhammad, and popular with American Muslims.

Ahmed has 10 variant forms: Achmad, Achmed, Ahmaad, Ahmad, Ahmet, Ahmod, Amad, Amadi, Amahd and Amed.

He gave food and clothing to the children in the mountains in the coldest of winter. Jilbab’s to warm them and shoes for their bare feet.

Jilbab

In every café a picture of him was right there along with the prized picture of King Hassan.  He knew what he wanted and he secured what he wanted. I was his chosen one. Now, I realize I was chosen only until I no longer obeyed him. I obeyed him unknowingly at times, his will had a control over me.

So many chances, and so many times I was in serious circumstances and did not even know the extent of the darkness I had allowed.

This is an attempt at rewriting a chapter of my story about my stay in Tangier. I left so much out.

My Feelings.

Story Excerpt “Jasmine Remains”

I allowed myself to be used by my husband because I felt I needed to survive. Being in a foreign country, having just one person that is supposed to be your savior in all ways to allow such things to happen. Shaking my head at the betrayal of it.

I was raised to believe that you believe in your husband and that you do what needs to be done to keep things operating smoothly. I grew up on that journey. Coming back home to the states it did not take me long to separate myself from him. Maybe it was the times, free love, intoxication of drugs and a different thought process.

Regretfully, but for some unknown reason or reasons I allowed myself to be used and abused in future relationships. My self-esteem seemed to have no cares.

I began to realize that I used men for love and attention. Many years it involved going down the wrong paths and falling into all the wrong holes in the sidewalk.

I feel free.

I am not involved with anyone romantically, but I know if that feeling ever comes my way again I will value and appreciate the powerful force that I am.

I will never allow abuse from anyone in the name of love, drugs or insecurities.

I will no longer be drained by their vampire need to control. I am in control. I hold my own reigns.

My ongoing journey is progressing smoothly Smile

This song reminds me of my sojourn. It’s Jazz the way I like it too.

Well I’m buckled up inside
It’s a miracle that I’m alive
I do not think I can survive
On bread and wine alone
To think that I could have fallen
A centimeter to the left
Would not be here to see the sunset
Or have myself a time
(refrain)
Well why do the hands of time
So easily unwind
Some lessons we learn the hard way
Some lessons don’t come easy
That’s the price we have to pay
Some lessons we learn the hard way
They don’t come right off and right easy
That’s why they say some lessons learned we learn the hard way
Remember the sound of the pavement
World turned upside down
City streets unlined and empty
Not a soul around
Life goes away in a flash
Right before your eyes
If I think real hard well I reckon
I’ve had some real good times
(refrain)
Well why do the hands of time
So easily unwind
Some lessons we learn the hard way
Some lessons don’t come easy
That’s the price we have to pay
Some lessons we learn the hard way
They don’t come right off and right easy
That’s why they say some lessons learned we learn the hard way

Preppers not Preppies


Preppers-460x418

 

Nothing Like Being prepared as they say.

The End Of The World

The world we live in becomes a bit treacherous more so everyday. The Colorado incident brought us back to the Reality Bites that headline our news each and every day. Some where, and at any time some misfit takes others innocent lives into there own hands and wrecks so much heartache and turmoil.

The right to carry and bear arms DOES not mean this is a right to take lives so callously.

My heart goes out to these people that are suffering. 12 dead, including innocent children’s lives. Ended before they had a chance to possibly make a difference in our world.

So senseless and unbelievable.

Who ? Me ?


I transcribed the lyrics to this song since it can not be found on the WWW. The song yes.

The lyrics are below. I did my best. It’s a neat song by Tex Williams. My dad used to listen to it.

If you don’t talk too much you won’t get into trouble

But if you talk too much your trouble will be double

Man, you telling me..I got into trouble talking, me of all people. Why I was just walking along the street and met a pretty girl. She said ” Let’s stop in some cafe and get me a bite too eat”

I said “Who are you talking too ?”
She said “You” and I said ” Who ? and she said “You” and I said “Me” she said “Yes”

No, I said “no lady I don’t, well we see we never met well I’d like too but we I’m little short on I mean it’s a long ways too I couldn’t afford but no you see but I took her though

If you don’t talk too much you won’t get into trouble

But if you talk too much your trouble will be double

Now when we was through eating she just sit there talking yap yap yap like women will.
The waiter came over and handed me the biggest bill and said “that’s for you” I said “Who are you talking too”
He said “You” and I said ” Who” He said “You” and I said “Me”
He said “Yes” and I said “No, you’ve got the wrong $18, not for what a cup of coffee and a half ,no we didn’t even have, no I won’t pay it, call the manager, I paid him though

If you don’t talk too much you won’t get into trouble

But if you talk too much your trouble will be double

 

Now I don’t know exactly how it happened but that gal sure hooked me for life

Next thing I know I was standing in front of a preacher and he was saying “Do you take this girl to be your loving wife”

I said “Who are you talking too ?”
He said “You” and I said “Who”
He said “You” and I said “Me” he said “Yes”
I said “”No,I hardly know, I bought her, may have kissed her,her mama wouldn’t like, she’s too young. I married her though

If you don’t talk too much you won’t get into trouble

But if you talk too much your trouble will be double

 

Now when we got home that night I was so tired I was wishing I was dead.But she was feeling fine and she said honey it was 2 o’clock and it was time for us to go too bed

I said “Who are you talking too?
She said “You” and I said “Who” and she said “You”
and I said “Me” She said “Yes” I said “Honey Alright”

If you don’t talk too much you won’t get into trouble

But if you talk too much your trouble will be double

 

Magical Marvin Key


Last night mama came to see me in my dreams and gave me a handful of beautiful wildflowers.

I’ve been thinking. Someone told me once I was desperate and pathetic. Move on. Now that I think about that again it is the exact thing my EX used to say too me when I questioned him about HIS other women. He always replied they were desperate and pathetic and needed to move on. That they were only trying to break us up.
I ask how does someone move on when said person is always calling, coming over and saying how much he loves and wants me back ?

Phone goes unanswered, door goes unopened~ that’s HOW ???

Yesterday, the forecast called for scattered showers and heavy rain. It looked dismal but we took a chance. It turned out to be a beautiful day. We went further this time, past Snipes and on to Marvin Key. I like it even better then Snipes if that is possible. It seemed surreal, the small lagoons and the mangroves with the two paths reminded me of “The Road Not Taken”  a poem by Robert Frost.

I Remember Penny Callas


Jam that Guitar Mr “D” On the flip side is “LOVE”

When I lived on N. Market Street in Frederick, Maryland my friend and I used to walk around the corner to the clubhouse they practiced at. The band at the time was called “Penny Callas and the Bad Boys”

I remember the song “Black Olives” and the flip side was “Love” He was so handsome, I used to almost fall off the crates we piled up to look through the window when they practiced. They also played often at the Gold Dust Inn Nightclub. Mustang Sally got the crowd in a frenzy Smile

Demetri Callas
3rd from left

Frankie Valli  (The Four Seasons)

Most people know Frankie Valli as an iconic musician, lead singer of the internationally successful ’60s rock/pop band The Four Seasons and, more recently, one of four lead characters in the Broadway show “Jersey Boys.”

Frederick-born-and-raised musician Demetri Callas, however, knows Valli as a former colleague and close friend.

Callas, 70, joined The Four Seasons (of “Sherry,” “Big Girls Don’t Cry” and “Walk Like a Man” fame) in late 1970, taking the place of founding member and lead guitarist Tommy DeVito, he said in a recent phone interview from his home in Las Vegas. He toured throughout the U.S. and internationally with the group until 1974, when he voluntarily walked away from the band.

“I was a bad boy,” he said, laughing. “It’s only today in retrospect that I realize how irresponsible I probably was. … I’m not proud of it, but instead of waiting for them to relieve me, I knew it was time for me to walk.”

The Frederick High School grad began his music career early on, having taught himself to play guitar at age 13. He purchased his first acoustic guitar from Cole’s Pawnbroker’s Outlet in Frederick, he said, and it cost him $12.95.

“I recall seeing local bands at carnivals or The Great Frederick Fair and just really enjoying their music,” he said. “I was fascinated by guitar players, mostly.”

Some early influences included guitarists “Punch” Hahn (who impressed Callas because he played a handmade guitar, he said), area country artist Johnny Glaze, Fredericktonians Roy, Ray and Paul Dayton and even Jimmy Dean, musician and, later, founder of Jimmy Dean Sausages, who once played country music events at the former armory downtown, Callas said.

Callas began playing guitar professionally around 1960, and although initially influenced by “hillbilly music,” as he called it, he began playing rock ‘n’ roll from day one.

“I began playing kind of before rock ‘n’ roll hit … but when it did, I was hooked,” he said.

Throughout his career, Callas played with local musicians and bands in the greater Frederick, Baltimore and Washington areas, often as part of “combos” of several musicians, he said. Under the band name Flavor, he did a few recordings for Columbia records, including the single “Sally had a Party” in 1968. Callas also spent a year playing with the group Bill Black’s Combo, named after Elvis Presley’s former bassist, Bill Black, and played briefly with Bill Haley & His Comets (of “Rock Around the Clock” fame).

He was performing with a combo at Baltimore’s Club Venus when a member of The Four Seasons heard him play, he said, and four weeks later, he got a call from the band’s manager asking him if he was interested in joining the act.

In his time with the Seasons, Callas had several interesting experiences, including the group being followed in and out of former New Jersey Governor Brendan Byrne’s Inaugural Ball (where they were performing) in the ’70s by the FBI because of alleged mafia connections present within the band’s camp, he said.

During his tenure, the group also performed at the Atlanta State Penitentiary to gain access to the personal cell of Angelo “Gyp” DeCarlo, New Jersey mobster and a friend of Valli’s, Callas said. DeCarlo was incarcerated for tax evasion, and was dying of terminal cancer, but Valli wanted to visit him and pay his respects.

“We were up there performing in front of all the inmates in our funny little suits … who were lying back with these looks on their faces, thinking ‘who the hell are these guys?,'” he said, laughing.

“Then going down to Gyp’s cell — if you could call it that, because it was more like a suite — was also nerve-wracking. Frankie and Gyp embraced, and, of course, there were tears. … It was something I’ll never forget.”

Source:

Frederick News

The W.W.W