I have questioned this connection to this day. A whirlwind romance and unending infatuation.
An endearing, frustrating union that has left me gasping for air and screaming to the top of my lungs…Leave Me Alone!
I don’t need a man to take the garbage out and get rid of annoying bugs for me. Sometimes he reminded me of a bug… an annoying bug.
Something I wrote :
The Violin and his Bow
You know how the violin plays so beautifully when it is synchronized and in tune.
I am likening my relationship with him as a violin, one that has played oh so long and well.
Now it is beyond repair as it has been to the repair shop once to many times.
The Keys that hold the violin are tattered and torn from exchange and do not work at all anymore.
It slowly started its demise in 2009, and from its sounds I knew that something was off and getting more and more out of sync.
I tried tuning it myself, very patiently and lovingly. It did not respond. It became unrepairable.
Memories of its beautiful sound lingered on.
The tuning Bow lay in her velour bed alone, night after night. She remained untouched for weeks at a time. The shopkeeper called everyday to see how she was.
Finally the shopkeeper told me he did not know what was wrong, but his shop was closing.
Such a beautiful instrument, my violin.
I know my Bow is beautiful. It lays in wait of more beautiful melodies that will arise from it. It will be repaired by someone who appreciates it more.
It will play music again, a different melody.
Just like a flower that needs water to survive.
Attention and loving words to thrive.
I will tune myself.
Oh well, Live and Let Live, after all that is my MO.