Daymare Naps and Nocturnal Nights


don__t_trash_your_dreams_by_aquasixio-d5clzyo

 

During my nap today.
I dreamed I was in my house.
Everything was in place and clean.
When I woke their was all kinds of furniture, dishes, clothes in the front room. The exterminator was spraying a huge bird that had flown in.
He fell to the floor and I noticed he was so beautiful,

a phoenix bird.
To dream of a phoenix stands for rebirth and eternal life. It may also indicate a past that continues to haunt you.

I immediately started reviving him so I could free him.
I told the men to leave because I had animals and did not want the poisonous sprays getting into there tiny lungs.
I also told them to take all that furniture and stuff with them.

3/25/2016
Large house. I with the cats,dogs and other people’s babies were there.

The clock said 1 AM but it was really 6:30 AM.

I told them to lower the music or I would have her evicted. She was looking around and saying “what did you do with this and where is my little trinkets ?”

I told her I did nothing with her stuff which in my dream I had not.

The dog was writhing and howling in pain, the cats were all crying and babies were screaming.

That is when we noticed the brown paper layers that were in front of a unique shelving. We began tearing them off one by one and nothing was there but empty shelving.

All our crystals and keepsakes gone.

The dog died and froze.

I was holding on to Minnie but she wanted down.

A lady was sitting in a chair and said what the heck is that and turned it upside down.

Babies still alive, but dying fell on the floor screaming, covered in scorpions and spiders.

That is when we first saw the crawlers, the poisonous spiders, red tipped scorpions that kill with one sting.

They were everywhere as if someone had came in and released them too do their deathly deeds.

I was awakened suddenly by Shy Cat howling in a way I had never heard before.
A forlorn, cry. Than total silence.

I got up to check on him, my cats and birdies.
I made coffee.
I can not sleep now.

I have been drinking lots of water. I went to bed at 1.
Did not watch anything craze on TV before sleeping.

Dreams of Spiders:

Source

Spiders

To dream of a spider denotes that you are being ignored and overlooked by others. Perhaps you feel that it is best to avoid someone or something that will only influence you negatively. The spider also represents female strengths and intensity. It may be implying that there is some entity trying to keep you safe from your own actions. If you kill a spider, it indicates that you will soon face hardships and obstacles.
To see a spider spinning a web implies that your energies and exertions will result in great gifts. This can be in the form of career advancement, elevation in social status, or prosperity. Spiders represent imagination and artistic nature.
On a negative note, spiders may suggest that you feel stuck in a negative relationship. Perhaps your significant other is being too dependent on you. It can indicate that you are being influenced by someone or something that is detrimental to your happiness or safety.
To see a spider climbing up a wall in your dream implies that you will achieve your goals in the near future.
To dream that you are bitten by a spider symbolizes an issue between you and a female associate. You may be feeling entangled in a relationship that you no longer want to be a part of.

Scorpions

To dream of a scorpion signifies an experience that has caused you great pain or grief. It may also indicate insensitive and resentful words or thoughts that an enemy holds about you. Your dream warns that you may be treading into a territory that can only bring you sorrow and loss. The scorpion symbolizes change and a new beginning. It may be necessary for you to discard previous beliefs and ideals and adopt new ones. Also, the scorpion may be a symbol of a person who was born under the Scorpio zodiac sign.
To see scorpions floating in water signifies that you must resign yourself to the fact that an event or situation has indeed occurred and cannot be changed. There is a possibility that you are experiencing the stages of grief and learning to continue on with your life.

Band-Aids and Rubber Bands


band-aid

The Band-Aid, It doesn’t really fix anything; it just covers things up.

I am tired of Band-Aids other than for a sore cuticle or a small wound that needs coverage. Otherwise the real problem is never solved. The Band-Aid that is prescribed usually causes another symptom that requires yet another.

Excuses remind me of Band-Aids too.

annoy_me

© C. m ART z 2015

Not one for excuses either. If you make plans and can’t make it, at least let me know. Nothing like feeling out on the proverbial limb so too speak.

Wait for no one. Give or take a half hour or so Smile

Rubber-Bands

rubber-band-ball

Found on WWW

They can only stretch so far. No one knows for certain how far you or someone else can safely stretch it  before it snaps.

I found this great write-up on the web also.

Rubber Band Man (Copyright 2003 Ron McCray)

“Consider the rubber band. It is a continuous loop of flexible material that in its natural state is relaxed and adapts to where it happens to be placed in the moment. It can be stretched to be larger than it seems. This can only happen through force, by being stretched beyond its natural circumference. When the force is released, the rubber band “snaps” back into its original state. Sometimes a rubber band is stretched too far or too and breaks losing the completeness of its original configuration, and in effect, becoming useless. Although this fate is not visited on all rubber bands, the potential is always their for all of them.

Found on WWW

More from  Ron McCray on another blog post I did.

How Is Your Rubberband Today?

Avoided

Found on WWW

I love that quote above. We have all been in that spot of avoidance at some time in our lives. Being avoided and yes avoiding others.

Seriously it has taken me awhile, but when I say I am going to do something I do it.

Procrastination is wasted time. It is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.

Shadows dancing in the sunlit prisms
Palm fronds swaying in a summer breeze
Investigating the maze of paths
Contemplating a dream of epic proportions

Everything is peaceful and content

Spiders weaving there webs
Undisturbed, not perturbed
waiting on the morning dew
and SURVIVING

“When Karma Knocks I want to be able to face off with it”

© C. m ART z 2015

Simplicity


I started blogging on WordPress in 2011. I appreciate each follower. Every Like and love comments. I have Spam guards in place so that is not an issue.

Like anything in life things have a way of being put on the back burner so too speak.

Lately I have going through my extensive blog and realized that it is so very scattered, organized yet so much to ponder.

So, I have started paying more attention to Salt and Sand

It is more simplified.

My Favorite Things so too speak.

My Zoo

Food

Inspiration

Quotes

My Photography

I hope you will check it out.

blogging-demotivational

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2Cynthia_Sig_Aqua copy

When You Feel Weary


When I am weary of all the shadows, I read this:  

For_Rhea_37_Coco-1                        

Copyright ©2013 Cynthia Martz ( I created this out of a coconut shell)

“The Simplest Way” by an Unknown Author

“When we finally arrive at a space where we are simply happy and grateful for what we do have, we will know that we have arrived.

All the wanting, trying to create, trying to keep up, and trying to get somewhere, are simply the roads we undertook to get to this higher space of giving up and letting go….which is precisely where we need to be…in gratitude, wonder, and joy for it all.

And this is when we finally get all that we have ever wanted, only we find that we really no longer need these things that we thought we had to have!

When we finally arrive in this incredible space, we seem to be able then, to be happy, joyful, and full of love wherever we find ourselves.

We have then come full circle.

Struggle, then, creates the space of letting go (basically through exhaustion). And letting go and surrendering, creates the space of the higher realms reality, where Source can then enter oh so much more easily.

Do we need to never want a thing ever again? Absolutely not! We only need know that we can be happy right where we are, no matter where that may be.

And accepting where we are and how things are in the world or around us, gives us the strength through knowledge that all is always in divine and perfect order.

And through this acceptance, we can then receive all that we have ever wanted.

If we choose, we can arrive in this space through by-passing the long journey of struggle, a journey which eventually culminates at the very place where it all began.

We can align right now then, in this simple way:

When we align with the simple things in life, which are always available and present, we are automatically placed in alignment.”

What’s On Your Mind?


 I made this especially for anyone interested in Cat Power.

 Ever notice how Facebook wants to know “What’s on Your Mind”? Continue looking at your page. Have you posted something some one might be interested in ? More than likely the answer is Yes, because we tend to say “What is on our minds ”
Others wear a mask and hide behind their little Facebook wall.
Guess that is why I have not hit above 50 on friends.
How many can you have and still relate?
My Thoughts:
This song haunts me.
I listen to it over and over.
My first reaction was that it was about a person,depressed and giving up.

The more I listen I believe it is a song about transformation.
Freeing one’s self from the throes of addiction,whether it be alcohol,drugs or loving the wrong person.
The vulnerable qualities of her voice amaze me.

Lyrics:

Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or waterfall could STALL me
And then came the rush of the flood
The stars at night turned DEEP to dust
Melt me down
into big black Armor
Leave no trace
Of grace
Just in your honor
Lower me down
TO CULPRIT SOUTH
Make ‘EM WASH A SPACE IN TOWN
FOR THE LEAD
AND THE DREGS OF MY BED
I’VE BEEN SLEEPING
Lower me down
PIN ME IN
Secure the grounds
For the later parade
Once I wanted to be the greatest
TWO FISTS OF SOLID ROCK
WITH BRAINS THAT COULD EXPLAIN
Any feeling
Lower me down
PIN ME IN
Secure the grounds
FOR THE LEAD
AND THE DREGS OF MY BED
I’VE BEEN SLEEPING
For the later parade
Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or water fall could STALL me
And then came the rush of the flood
The stars at night turned DEEP to dust

Becoming the Phoenix


‎Phoenix Rebirth

It has taken me many years to finally be open with this part of my life. I suffered tremendously of my will.

It was the darkest periods in my entire life.

While researching “The Dark Night” I became acquainted with a wonderful person. She welcomed me and I did this very article as a guest blogger on her site.

Freedom From Ashes

Update…I just was going through my blog posts, checking links and am sorry to report that this site above is longer in the internet universe 😦

 

On a cold and dreary November day in November 1948, I came crying into this world.
It was mid month the 18 th. The trees were stark against the snowy countryside, casting their dark shadow limbs that glistened on the sparkling icy snow.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
I was introduced to my older sister and their were many parties and I was showered with gifts. My older sister was not an only child anymore.This effected her. When I was three much to my mother’s anguish she cut off my beautiful blonde curls.

1948_I'm the baby

Throughout the years striving for the attention she felt was lacking she sabotaged me. She told on me, hoping that would be favorable. I was a tomboy, always outside; climbing trees or investigating Copperhead nesting grounds.
I especially enjoyed the Maryland winters, sled riding, ice skating, building igloo’s in the hill beside my grandparents house. We had no running water and our water supply came from a  spring well.

Creek_ice

I can remember my mama making us rice and beans days in a row. Turn that around and add a stroke of abundance. My father was a hustler. That entailed a hard day’s work or perhaps a win at the local pool hall…My dad would say bring on the steaks.
I don’t remember ever going to bed hungry. I was warm in the winter with two stoves to warm us. One was an electric gas stove, the other a kitchen wood burning stove.
I took nothing for granted because I knew of nothing better.
I started school at the early age of 5. My fondest memory was my first boyfriend, his name was Peachy. We played marbles at recess and took naps most of the day. This resulted in our missing the bus home on many days.
When I was 12 my mother became a Jehovah’s Witness. It changed my entire life as I knew it.

My home life in the early teen years was very inconsistent.
My parents never seemed to be in agreement on many things.
This resulted in my tendency to not make any decisions.
I believe this is where my “Whatever” attitude took on a life of its own.
Dad was very much into the John Bircher Society.
My grandparents were Freemasons.
I graduated in 1966. I wanted to be an airline stewardess or a model but I got married and started a family instead.
The outdoors no matter what the weather was my refuge. Trees made to climb with nature designed limbs to get you to the top. Creeks to wade in during the hot summers and skate on in the frozen winters.

Long lanes to pogo stick down and learn to ride my first bicycle.

Pogo_Lane
Silos to play in as my Uncle filled it with silage.

silo_farm

Perfect sled runs down hills and hills of freshly fallen snow packed by my Uncle’s snow plow and a drizzle of frozen rain.
Croquet in the yard in the summer time with plenty of sweet Maryland iced tea to satisfy a thirst.
The smells of apple butter and apple cider being made at Butchering time. I can still see the huge vats of pig fat being made into cooking lard. The smoke wafting into the hot putrid air from the remnants of the slaughter. Preparing the humongous slabs of sugar-cured bacon and other parts to be cured in the smoke house.
Great memories…

For as long as I can remember I have had a thing with my hair.
I confess I am a chronic and compulsive hair twirler. I have let my hair grow shoulder length and it is so soft and comforting to feel it as it twirls in my fingers.
If my right hand is busy I use my left. I have used both and that must look really odd. Being ambidextrous is a plus in hair twirling, especially when one hand gets tired.
Funny thing I read the other day is that Gemini’s are good with their hands. My moon is in Gemini.
Now, there seems to be more hair on my brush and going down the drain then on my head.

Never again will I be a small girl dragging a red sled behind me – and standing at the top of a mighty hill, looking down toward the bottom with trepidation and excitement. Never again will I be a young child with frozen fingers and toes, running home to a glowing, warm house and a sweet cup of hot chocolate – that tastes even sweeter now because I know my mom made it for me from scratch. It was not the instant kind from a pouch.

I wonder if the reflections of the past are somehow honed by time into something they never were.

Maybe what is too painful to remember our minds simply choose to erase.


As my sister says ” I rather think that we have been led down a very strange path of beliefs by our fears, superstitions and wonders.  Perhaps all is just the way it is meant to be.”
I like that.
Very strange paths and we followed until we found our own way.
Maybe the day will come when I won’t be able to recall the bitter, sad, hurtful memories at all anymore.

“there is no past, only what we feel about it.
there is no future, only what we think about it.
there is only now and what we do with it.
Be here now ”

There will always be a child inside me; it is the child inside the WOMAN. And, I love the gifts she gives me too much to ever let her go.
I don’t think I want those bad memories filtered so much. I want to remember the dark, hurting, sad days too. I’m not sure why – it just seems they are as much a part of me as the happy ones. I am the sum of the happy and the sad. I am the sum of the bitter and the sweet, of the bad and the good.

My Descent Into the Darkness

For this day, I choose with all my heart to go back in time.
It is the healer in me that inspires to be of help and service to others in pain.

Those Dark Nights were surrounded by shadows that I chose. The tracks of the tears, fears and years that led me here.
“Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again”
Simon and Garfunkel “Sounds of Silence”

Lyrics: Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never shared
No one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

“Fools,” said I, “you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said “The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sound of silence”

“I am reading the book “The Secret of the Shadow” again by Debbie Ford.
That’s our shadow folks…always there, always waiting.”
I knew I was in trouble. I needed Help. I asked the Universe to please show me a different path.

At the time I was living in Michigan with an elderly couple and my man of many drug laced years. We fought often and violently. The couple called the police. She also called my daughter and told her if she didn’t get me away from the situation I was in she feared for my life. I still have the letter my daughter wrote me encouraging me to some how get too Key West. I would live with her and get my life in order. I had not seen her in seven years. My grandchildren who I had never met were 1 1/2 and almost 5. She mentioned that she had a dream where the police were involved. She stressed she only had one mother and those words tugged at my heartstrings.

This was a grand plan. I borrowed the money and bought my bus ticket. A day before leaving I cashed it in and partied for three days. A few months later I left my car and every worldly possession and hitch hiked to Key West, FL on 18 Wheelers. This was 1992. I had the clothes on my back and my pocketbook with perhaps a bit of change and a few dollars. Traveling light took on a new meaning for me. I did not tell my daughter I was coming; as I had done so many times before and never made it.

My boyfriend’s mother was so concerned that her son would be arrested for my disappearance. I called the State Police and informed them I was traveling too Key West. I did not mention that I was hitch hiking.
There was no turning back.

In hide sight I was always looking for that new rush and I tried the entire A-Z line of drugs. Many things bring back those memories.

The Kasbah Life
Slinky basket filled with defanged cobra’s
Dark strong smooth kif
Snow covered majestic mountains
Distant Gibraltar

Remembering life in Tangier,Morocco…another part of my journey.

Servers work so hard.
It’s a kiss ass kinda job.
I worked in the service industry (restaurants and bars) for over 35 years because I enjoy people.
I made a lot of great tips.
Nowadays people think a tip is doing the server a favor.
They think minimum wage is sufficient.
Most of the persons I worked with led a drug and alcohol filled existence. There was always a party somewhere…I had to separate myself from persons that I had done the most unimaginable things with for years. That is hard.

Letting go does not just propel you in any other direction. It is just a total and repeated nothingness. You are emptying the mind and the emotions so that something else can come in and show you your way.
This peace within, or your lack thereof, always affects those around you. When you choose peace within, others see that they too have this choice.

This is a wonderful gift. Open daily.

However, if you continue to be caught up in outer events and tied to your past traumas, anger and resentments, you will keep those around you somewhat caught up as well.

In Michigan~ No matter the season, hot as the blazes or so cold your tears froze.
I lied, stole, lived on the street, laid my head on rumpled newspaper in vacant hallways, in vacant and uninhabitable houses. Slept in my car until it wouldn’t run anymore. Got evicted from great apartments and lost many a job because I was too busy.

Driven by the Shadows that came. They came in disguised form as a fluffy, fine white powder.

Chasing the shadow the white ghost was my life. Getting the $ to do it, finding it, and doing it around people who were so paranoid I couldn’t understand WHY they did it.
Paranoid, not me. I just wanted to get high. After blowing most of my veins and acquiring cotton fever too many times to remember I found a new way.
Crack…it is WACK in reference to what a famous person once said.
R.I.P Whitney.
Then of course, no more, not even a crumb, not on the floor, on the table nowhere…no kibbles and no bits.Then pushing the pipe until it couldn’t be pushed anymore and inhaling the burnt chore boy.
I remember coughing up these little round air balls. They would POP. This came from my lungs. Oh and when you held the pipe in your hand and burnt it, I had huge blisters on my hand from holding the pipe, keeping it away from my man who said I was a fiend.

(A man or woman who craves a certain substance, usually a drug. Various types of fiends exist, such as the tweaker, the crack fiend, the pothead, the cokehead fiend)

We were both fiends. We finally stopped using every day, and we lived and worked for the weekend. We became weekend fiend warriors.
Bittersweet.

Sobbing on a shoulder, lost and out of control.
I drank, I passed out. I didn’t have to think.
I broke my foot and don’t remember the how’s, where or why’s.

Acquiring, indulging, repeat until the money was gone and there were no groceries bought and no bills paid. Then selling our jewelry given to us by our families, heirloom keepsakes, but what ever we needed to get HIGH and that was it…that was all that mattered.

So tired and sick of being sick and tired but wanting just ONE more hit. Watching the smoke curl in the glass pipe. Hearing the sizzle, crack and pop.

Well this is actually a story that has been told and will be told again and again. Each time it is told it will sound the same, because that’s what addiction to anything we lose control over is.
Whatever the drug of choice is…crack, meth, hallucinogens, heroin, weed, pills, alcohol…even food, it ensures everyday will be the same.

Dawn~A New Way

Things happen…it pains us.
Sometimes it is the pain that makes US realize the change that needs to occur.
Sometimes the pain of all the hurts has too be “Let Go” of Our sweet intoxicating lovers. The most insidious and powerful drug I had ever done. One hit and it owned me, It held me it’s captive like no other.

Key lessons I learned.

They may kick you when you are down, and they most certainly will kick you when you are up. It’s all in how you stand tall, proud and unashamed; once your feet are steady on the ground.
There is no time in this life for regrets. Everything that you experienced made you the unique person you are this moment. It is being “REAL” that eventually opens our heart.
I love life. If you always see the IF in it, there are endless possibilities.

The Dark and the Light

I didn’t wake up one day and aspire to be a “Junkie”. That word, sends chills all over me. I suppose for some reasons; perhaps even now I have not acknowledged what made me so bad as my mama so fondly would say. I didn’t think I was bad. I wasn’t this horrible person, I was sick! Addicted, an Addict.
I don’t have aids or dying as a good friend of mine is doing as I write this. Both her kidneys have failed and her liver.

When I knew the Dark Nights of my Soul were killing me I aspired to be an Eagle and fly free.
Even if it meant giving up this earthly life.
Watching a life pass before your eyes, it might be your life or a close friend. All the while thinking this must be utopia. Having a great nod is not my idea of living.

I always loved watching Eagles fly. So smoothly and they looked so powerful.
Eagles seemed so at peace in their world and I was far from being in peace in mine.

Many times I intentionally tried to destroy myself, at least I would be flying free like the eagle.
I cut my wrists, drank and mixed pills and drugs.
I always woke up. In a major daze mind you but alive.

Now that I am free, I notice everything and am in total awe of all that I have missed. I was an addict from 1967 to 1998. A few times I gave in to my inner demons that said just one hit,  just one drink…and I had to just finally STOP.

I have been clean for almost 15 years as far as drugs go. Drinking took on a new life so too speak. In 1998 I became very sick. I had very little energy, I felt as if I was in a fog. This haze was not drug induced.

I have several tattoos also… Tattoos or piercings performed either before the mid-1980s and afterwards.
“underground,” or nonprofessionals are of particular concern, since sterile techniques in such settings may be lacking.”

I  have since curtailed my drinking. I have slipped a few times, got overly booze buzzed, wrecked my moped, dealt with broken bones and hospitals.
What was I NOT thinking ?

I have a beautiful daughter 44 and two lovely drug free grandchildren (27-22).

I am single now. My last relationship was void of the influence of drugs and alcohol but it still went south. We never married.

I have to ask myself why I was so insecure in recent years ? Why I felt I needed this Gemini man in my life ?
Especially after surviving so many dark days and nights.

He was inconsistent, insecure, he accused me of things, insinuated and said derogatory remarks. He would always say “I know you have someone else”. He was the one that always had someone else.
He tried to project what he did. How he felt and his twisted thoughts on too me and I did not like it. I have my own thoughts and feelings, I do not need anyone else’s.

Invalidation, is what I am talking about and he just did NOT get it.
I am so thankful that HE is in my past.
I am thankful for the lessons learned.
In this 5 year relationship the Lessons took way too much of my valuable time.

My life now that I am older, retired from the work mania. I find I am at a place of serenity and acceptance of myself with most of my idiosyncrasy’s acknowledged and dealt with.
I am getting back into photography of unusual and unique moments that capture my eye.
I take more time letting people into my life. They have to show me there worthy of knowing me.

I did marry one more time. My wedding was on the beach, it was beautiful. This is the poem Rev. Casper read at our wedding….May 24th 1997

“I love you not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself but for what you are making of me.
I love you for putting your hand into my heaped up heart and passing over all the frivolous and weak things that you can not help seeing there.
You draw out into the light all the beautiful radiant things that no one else has looked quite far enough inside to find.
I love you for ignoring the possibilities of the fool in me and laying firm hold of all the good in me.
I love you for closing your eyes to the discord in me and adding to the music in me just by listening.”

Years later I realized that I was living with a stranger, someone who had hidden all his flaws so well from me. The main one being a cocaine habit. We divorced and he passed away from a heart attack a few years later.
Reminds me of the song “Everyone Plays the Fool Sometimes, No exception to the Rule” that Marvin Gaye sang so beautifully.

It has taken me many years to feel the power of the Phoenix.

I was that Scorpion on the ground, stinging anything and everything that got in my way 🙂
Including myself.

At present I am in the process of slowing my incessant Chatter in my brain. I feel like the Energized Bunny .
My older sister always says “You are an open book”
My reply is “all the better to read and understand”
Sometimes I feel I am just getting started figuring out the real me.
You know what?
The Journey never ends.

I have always been interested in astrology, numerology, anything to do with darkness, and Light of course. Many years ago a Psychic told me that when I returned from Africa I brought 7 spirits back with me. She said as in all things some were good, some were great and others would nearly kill me. This piqued my interest naturally and I started researching in every library I could find. I didn’t have a computer and instant knowledge at my finger tips. I forget the name of the astrology book I read, but it mentioned that a Scorpio is so special because they have not two but three symbols.

Scorpion symbolizes a hotheaded warrior who is violently passionate, bluntly sarcastic, egotistical, controlling and manipulative. As I mentioned earlier she will sting others even if the payback is getting stung herself.

Eagle represents the calm but intense, focused, determined, intuitive and perceptive Scorpio who often developed healing, clairvoyant and counseling abilities.

The Phoenix is the confident, courageous, positive transformer that transcends personal ego.

I died many small deaths during my addiction. I pulled up out of the deep dark cesspools and survived.
That moment when I realized I was indeed THE Phoenix.

Of course on an added note…the Scorpion does not back down. I will defend you till the end if I feel you are being railroaded  or extreme bias is knocking on your door. I can be venomous with my speech. If  looks could kill, well let’s just say their would be fewer assholes walking this earth.

Poetry Muse
“The spider web weaves what no fly should touch…just  saying”
Quote by “Me”

Manufactured Melancholy

I have my amazing thoughts, memories and creativeness whirling in my brain
I have had the fever and furious lovemaking, the lies, the betrayal, complicated maze
Nights of undeniable bliss
I have witnessed many an azure sky with winking stars and mysterious neighboring mists
In too many cities wandering and erratic in between the twilight shadows
My journals speak of days and nights
sometimes blended as one
Kaleidoscopic pictures of the Maze in fragmentary facts
Raised on religious rhetoric
Isolated and Detached
Waiting for an END that never came
Disillusioned youth, fractured family
I have no interest in babbling gossip
He said, she said, they said, who cares
But seriously speaking, what is the use of it?
Ex friends that remind me of sandpaper
with their critical judgment,vigorous invective
They rub the wrong way
No time for the maddening monotony
© Cynthia Martz 2012

The “Simplest” Way
Unknown Author
When we finally arrive at a space where we are simply happy and grateful for what we do have,   we will know that we have arrived. All the wanting, trying to create, trying to keep up, and trying to get somewhere, are simply the road we undertook to get to this higher space of giving up and letting go….which is precisely where we need to be…in gratitude, wonder, and joy for it all. And this is when we finally get all that we have ever wanted, only we find that we really no longer need these things that we thought we had to have! When we finally arrive in this incredible space, we seem to be able then, to be happy, joyful, and full of love wherever we find ourselves. We have then come full circle.
Struggle, then, creates the space of letting go (basically through exhaustion). And letting go and surrendering, creates the space of the higher realms reality, where Source can then enter oh so much more easily.

Do we need to never want a thing ever again? Absolutely not! We only need know that we can be happy right where we are,  no matter where that may be. And accepting where we are and how things are in the world or around us, gives us the strength through knowledge that all is always in divine and perfect order. And through this acceptance, we can then receive all that we have ever wanted.

If we choose, we can arrive in this space through by-passing the long journey of struggle, a journey which eventually culminates at the very place where it all began.

We can align right now then, in this simple way:
When we align with the simple things in life, which are always available and present, we are automatically placed in alignment.”

ENCOURAGEMENT from the Phoenix

Everyone needs to be encouraged…Change is hard. But sometime it is the only thing that saves you. You must want the change, so badly. Addiction is evil. It takes hold and says “I won’t let you go”. You have to be smarter than your addiction and say “You may not let me go, but I am outta here”
Same with bad relationships.
We stay because they are comfy, like an old pair of slippers. Sometimes, cleaning out that closet is the best thing you can ever do. After all it makes room for new and better things.

YOUR NEW LIFE

Written in Love,Peace and Light
Cynthia Martz
3/2012
© Cynthia Martz

Rising Like the Phoenix for this Scorpio Full Moon


credit_john-skouros
credit_john-skouros

I was getting ready to do an article on tomorrow’s Super Full Moon in Scorpio. My fellow Scorpio pretty much covered the subject. Thanks J.

From “J”:

This full moon is happening in a new cycle for 2012. May is a “1″-new beginnings month for 2012. So we all are feeling this Phoenix rebirth. We have all been prepared for this moment. Intensity is about to be amped up and Scorpio is there to teach you that intensity is nothing to run away from and you are fully equipped to handle it.