Veiled Dreams


don__t_trash_your_dreams_by_aquasixio-d5clzyo

I just woke up out of another intense dream. I went to the bathroom and noticed it was raining very hard, I could hear the sounds of it hitting the window pane.

The dream dissipated as soon as I awakened.

I used to pride myself on remembering my dreams. I could wake and write about the dream and the more I wrote the more I remembered.

That capability is gone.

I do dream, I still fly, but by the time I’m awake I can’t remember them. Lately all l  remember is how strange I feel. It feels like I am going in circles and discombobulated.  Usually I am very tired and thirsty. I used to have very vivid dreams and a strong memory of them. Now, The Dream leaves me feeling very confused, in a weird, happy or benevolent way.

No flashes, no bits and pieces that I can weave together.

I am beginning to think that my Dreams are like watching a new and exciting show on TV. One that has no conclusion, no follow-up or continuity.

Technicolor Fragments.

Visions of our innermost thoughts relentlessly at work while at rest. Night visions that are evidently not material to dwell on nor interpret, analyze, or decipher in the morning light.

North and South Nodes


I do not know what forces instigated this search for my Node but everything I found resonated so much I was enthralled.

The Nodes Know

The South Node here has great gold in its shadowy inheritance~we missed the basic course in ethics,compassion and fairness.

I guess it’s the quest I am on to find out after 63 years young what IT IS that makes me tick like the energized bunny…I just keep going and going.

You will probably have to make some major changes—like letting one relationship die so that you can have room in your life for a new better one~or you may have to tell your friend that what she/he did was unconscionable and that you’ve had enough.

This was in sync with my recent post “Letting Go”

The Scorpio woman will be faithful and devote all her life to her man, and her partner will be a happy man. If he would undermine her trust with lies or cheating – then she will erase him from the face of the earth, and will do this just as passionately as she loved him.

Finally, the day will come when you have learned from the experience, when you no longer blame yourself or feel stupid, when you do not feel compelled to fix the other person or make him see that what he or she did was wrong, when you accept that that person is who that person is—then you are in the last stage of healing: forgiveness and letting go.

My North Node is Taurus in the 3 rd House

South Node in Scorpio

You are intense. Everything is a big deal, life or-death. You struggle with life, trying to get your needs met. Primary among those is your need for connection, for intimacy. You feel comfortable and secure when you have somebody. You want to share everything, holding nothing back. You expect, you need the same in return. You get uncomfortable when someone doesn’t need you as much as you need them.

Your greatest fear is losing what you have; your obsession is getting what you lack.

North Node in Taurus

You are learning to relax. You are discovering that this is truly an abundant Universe. As long as you have yourself, you’re alright, you’ll be alright. And that’s the key – learning to trust yourself, depend on yourself, BE yourself. From your old sharing perspective, you may seem a little selfish – so focused on what you want. However, because you’re no longer so fearful of going without, you find yourself becoming much more generous. You are stabilizing, solidifying, shifting from emotional turmoil to sensory enjoyment.

With North Node in Taurus, our South Node is in Scorpio.

With North Node in the third house, our South Node is in the eighth house

A tendency to define our own worth and values in terms of our significant others, to be wrapped up in the needs of others at the expense of our own needs, and to attract confusing and intense life situations at the expense of comfort and peace are some of the issues this position suggests. With this position, we need to discover our own values, to depend on ourselves and to establish our self-worth through our own efforts, and to enjoy life’s more serene moments without the unconscious need to create crises. We may invest too much time and energy into supporting others at the expense of our own comfort and needs.

We cannot develop our self-worth through others alone—it needs to come from within. Learning to define our goals based on our own values, and then to work toward achieving them in a patient manner, will help us achieve more happiness and inner balance.

Excerpts from:

Taurus North Node

Relax. Take a big deep breath. Exhale. Smell the grass. Soak in the evening sun. Relax. Take another full breath. Relax. Watch the sun slowly set. Get ready for a fine dinner. Relax. Breathe in and out.
Relax…..
Relax…..
Relax…..

Guilt Free Zoneing ~ Nowism.

No other human is more capable of living in the moment than the NN Taurus. She has no desire to leave the reality she’s in. It’s exactly right. It contains everything she wants. Even if the imagination wanders off to foreign dimensions, her body is content to be where it is, and awaits her mind’s return with eagerness. Dinner is ahead, perhaps a hot bath, a slick shiny magazine, some jazzy love songs, or some delicious conversation on the Internet. So many possibilities, so much to do.

She is entirely self supporting and has the leisure time to do what she wants at her own pace. She can contemplate the world immediately around her trusting in its generosity and relaxing in its safety.

She is on rock solid ground entirely at home. Comfortable, satisfied, complete.

Associated with sexual energy, Scorpio loves to get Involved, going down deeper, coming up dirtier, and laying bare anything that lies hidden there.

“North Node Astrology”
by Elizabeth Spring

“The North Node is the single most important point in the chart…it describes what your Soul wants to learn and experience in this life. It is a Soul Messenger.”

Your Soul Messenger

Scorpio South Node

Down South
Down South

With your North Node in Taurus, your Soul craves peace and serenity in this life–as well as good music, a loyal lover, and picnics on the beach with good food and wine! Doesn’t everybody? Yes, but not like you—you need these things to remind your Soul that life can be good and safe and beautiful.

Having suffered too much drama and trauma either earlier in this life, or in a previous one, you’re suffering now from a slight despair of spirit—one could even say that this Nodal combination has a “forgotten emotional memory” of life at its most tragic. The cure for this soul sickness is to nurture your self with the things that make life worth living. Cultivating loyal friends, enjoying nature and the physical world, and creating a beautiful home that feels like a safe harbor are all good things for you to do.

By choosing to find the “sacred in the commonplace” you re-awaken your Soul to the Divine in all things.

You’re not being a materialist when you truly enjoy the beauty of a hand-made wooden spoon or pottery bowl, or take time away from your work and ambitions to watch the sun set with an old friend. By seeing into the true nature of things, you get a sense of what many of the mystics have seen~that powers that be are here and now, and found in the ordinary/extraordinary things of this life.

What do you truly value? What do you stand for in life? Something in you needs to know yourself deeper and to prove yourself worthy. The old path or habits that need to be left behind involve too much immersion in other people’s dramas…a helping hand is fine, but don’t get embroiled in dramas that aren’t yours.

Power and control issues as well as your ability to manipulate situations need to be let go of. You’ve done too much of that in the past. The focus now needs to be on you, and finding what you value and what nurtures you.This life is about finding that mystical sense of belonging to a Universe that is benevolent. No easy task! It’s a profound spiritual calling to find spirit in matter, and to find yourself in “right relationship” with others.

On the Taurus-Scorpio path it’s important to ground yourself with a workable level of financial and emotional stability. If you can do that you’re ready to retrieve the gold in the shadow–your Scorpio South Node.

Away with the drama and trauma and melodrama! No more tragic love stories, no more battles for power, struggles for revenge, hidden agendas and all the stuff of great novels. Just peace. Serenity. That’s the movement away from the South Node in the 8th house to the North Node in the 3 rd house. Your Soul needs a rest…

The 8th house South Node, ruled by Pluto, has struggled to transform and be re-born like the phoenix, and somewhere in all that struggling has come an exhaustion and weariness of the spirit. This life is now one where you are being called to rethink your values, your priorities, and put the Venus ruled 2nd house of Taurus back in its position of prominence. This is not the Venus of the struggle, but of gentle inquiry—the one that has the savvy to pick her own battles and chooses the “mutual fund” that agrees with her political and ecological consciousness. This is the Venus that soothes us, and reminds us of our roots in this good earth. She’d rather write a poem than put on the dress that makes her into the femme fatale. She finds the sacred in the commonplace, and makes it extraordinary.

The South Node here has great gold in its shadowy inheritance—it has a hard won wisdom and occult knowledge that can serve us well when used right. Certainly astrologers and those interested in astrology, have resources here in the 8th house. But as always with the South Node there is the defeat and despair of what we didn’t get right earlier in this life or in a former life. We paid too much attention to other people’s business rather than our own. We were the power behind the throne, or the one who “borrowed” another’s values, glory, money or husband. Our own yearning for these things seemed to make it acceptable, but we missed the basic course in ethics and compassion and fairness.

Shadow:

There’s hidden wisdom and power there, for in your Scorpio past you deeply understood other people and had a keen intuitive-psychic nature. You might have been the detective, the shaman, the priest, or the power behind the throne~the one who could hone in on the emotional bottom line. Now if you can bring your new level of security and grounded faith in the goodness of life into your relationships with others and into your work, you can nourish others with your profound wisdom.

Soul Purpose: serenity and stability, regaining a sense of the sacred in the ordinary, a sense of having earned and gained by one’s own efforts, honoring good traditions and preserving what is valuable for future generations.

Looking to another for definition, self-confidence, or too much support. Taking things that aren’t yours. Collapsing into a felt sense of emotional pain from previous lives, and adapting an overly serious, gloomy attitude. Going to quickly into studying the occult and transpersonal realities, and thereby taking a spiritual bypass on your emotional life.

Everybody Has a Shadow Story to Tell


I have been going through a lot of my own issues concerning how my life evolved and decisions I made along the way.

My shadow side still tries me at times…it’s not a place I like to dwell in.

Excerpt:taken from About the Shadow

“Another way to spot your shadows is to look for things you find yourself doing by accident. No matter how hard you try to keep your bag sealed, your shadows may leak out in a way that seems beyond your control. For example, you may promise yourself that you’re going to spend more time with your family, when you actually spend more time at work. You may find yourself jumping into a questionable relationship, when you know that this person isn’t right for you. You may ignore your own rules about eating, smoking or drinking. When you repeat a pattern of behavior involuntarily, it is a sign that your shadow is running the show

I have been keeping notes on sub conscious thoughts.My Shadow Cards…tools for self-refection and revealing the unconscious.

I was a very manipulative stubborn person growing up and it seemed to escalate into my marriages and divorces.

There were times when because of religious beliefs (Jehovah’s Witness) on my mama’s part she completely cut me out…the longest time was for 12 years.During this time Rhea,her dad and I traveled to Europe (1971) and lived in Tangier for nearly a year.

No one knew our where a bouts except a select few and my parents were not among the select.

Years later she told me that everyday she was concerned if we were well,alive or dead…if we were warm and had enough to eat.Today I feel bad that I worried her like that,I can only say I must have had extreme issues my self to show so little love and compassion for her.
It was like I wanted to make her suffer as she had made me feel so unwanted and unloved.

Today I am so on the unconditional love…and try not to judge another unless I have walked there walk,in their shoes so too speak.

My mama died in 2004, my dad in 2001. They were both 79.Married for 56 years.

I told my daughter yesterday I wished I could talk too Mama.
We went too Snipes and I wore my mama’s sun hat.She was with me all day.The moments were like epiphanies.

My daughter was crying and so emotionally bankrupt last evening when she returned home.

What a mess.

I tell her she has HER LIFE.

I mentioned people do the best they can with what they have at the time.

I look at her and see an emotional empty 16-year-old. The one that (her husband) found and took under his wing for 23 years. The children came and she poured every bit of her being into them.
Now the kids are grown and live on their own.
She is separated but has no plans.The kids moved on with there lives.
The kids are striving yet thriving.My granddaughter (21) is a CMA (Certified Medical Assistant).My Grandson works full-time,he is 25.
I thought bringing her here she would possibly see the beauty in life again.
I wanted her to see the beautiful, smart and strong woman who is hiding from her.

Everyone has a story, issues.

Everyone perceives them in their own way.

It is YOU that has to work through them, facing head on and dissolving the conflicts.