Surprise Visitors are the Best

I am feeling so blessed too have seen Malcolm and my dear Ladybug. It was a quickie visit, spur of the moment.

They arrived around 3 in the afternoon the 23 rd of April and left at 9:45 AM this morning the 24 th.

I was on the phone with her shortly after my daughter went to work. The phone sound was set to a special ring but I thought it was her, so I answered.

It was my granddaughter. She asked me what I was doing and I told her making a pancake and she said “make me one.”

Well, that went over my head.

A little while later while we are still on the phone

Knock , KNOCK.

Later she told me she had been knocking a long time. I must have thought it was the kids trying to place their Hamsters and offspring for the third time in a week.

I would love one of their cages and great tubing, it would fit right in Bears castle. A second floor condo.

But, the animals came with a male named Gilbert (Not the father), an all black bear female named Marie and 7-8 babies.

They were selling the babies for $1.00 a piece. I said I would love to take them, but I just do not have the space.

But anyways I am walking to the door, telling her on the phone someone is at the door and walk phone in hand and answer it.

What a major wonderful blessed surprise. I laughed, I must have looked amazed, I cried, we hugged a long time.

Her man looked just as happy and it was such a great a feeling. The hugs were amazing.

Many glasses of iced tea and giving her the tops I had for her. The bright red flat saddle bag. She loved everything. We both decided the giraffes on one of the blouses were so unique . We agreed they should be put in a frame on display in her crafts room. I should have taken a photo of it. (Hindsight, not enough said on that one)

They both looked so handsome and beautiful.

So happy.

I couldn’t stop talking or smiling.

Made Coffee and French Toast for breakfast.

Lazy Dog Day kayaking through the Mangroves and then back to Orlando.

I did get some great Canon Moments.

red signature with red tan heart

Motivating Love Not Fear




© C. m ART z  2015

There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life. ~ John Lennon


(Click to Enlarge)

“You cannot let fear become a thief. It will steal so many precious things.” Unknown.
Painting by Edvard Munch.

Tid Bits:

There are only two emotions. Love (Happiness, Peace, Contentment, Joy)

Fear (Anger, Hate, Anxiety and Guilt).

All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear.

“It is said that Hummingbird conjures love as no other medicine does, and that Hummingbird feathers open the heart. Without an open and loving heart, you can never taste the nectar and pure bliss of life.”

Dear Mommy


Dear Mother.
As I sit here and reminisce about you, our family I just wanted too thank you for the love and care you showed me as a child. Clean clothes, wonderful homemade meals, a kind word, a shoulder too cry on. So many little things that probably went unnoticed and unappreciated at the time.

Later in my adult life you didn’t speak too me for 12 years and I always felt cast out of your life. The same way I had been casted from THAT religion.

The first time we saw each other again after those 12 long years seemed as no time had passed.

Yet it had.

Moments, laughter that could have been shared as it should have been.

Than years later being shunned yet again. Than you left this earthly realm.

You called the day before your surgery to say you loved me.

The few mementos I have from you will always be cherished. Your dolly in the bottle, your pretty embroidered handkerchiefs. The heart jewelry box with your snap on earrings that kill my ear lobes. Your original wedding band from 1945 that I wear everyday.


Where ever it is that you are you always will be in my heart. You reside in my mirror when I gaze at myself.

Your beliefs took precedence and I can not fault you for your journey. It took me sometime to realize that indeed each of our journey’s are unique and of our own making.

I Love you always Mommy.

Shut The Door

Commenting on this web-blog

I seem to go around in circles when I wake up. Even if a good night’s sleep has rendered me a good 8-9 hours. Naps, really have me discombobulated. I decided to go back to my Dream journals over the years and just made two new pages on the subject of dreaming~lucid and otherwise. Then I searched Dreaming blogs and yours caught my interest. On a added note, Caribbean Blue by Enya has always been a favorite song of mine.



My Hu~Mans


My Purrby found me at 4 months of age. Just wandered in or someone dropped him nearby. He was always right there. The minute I came home from work he was at my door. I decided to keep him. Then I moved. He found me. I moved again and he found me.

He was always an out door roamer. The last time I heard him at my door I let him in. He had Mittens paws. He was a descendent of Ernest Hemingway’s Snowball.

He stayed until he died in my arms almost 9 years later.

One day I was at the shelter. My heart-felt like it could never replace Purrby. A tiny petite cat came up to me and rubbed my leg. I picked her up and she snuggled her head in my hand. Her name was Minnie and she came home with me that day.

She is almost 10 now.

A few years ago, my daughter came back to share my castle. She brought her two older cats. Minnie was overwhelmed. Eventually they got along and then the girl cat (Cinnamon) had to be put down for health reasons.

They still look for her.

A few months passed and there was a knock at my door. There was baby 12 week old China looking exactly like a twin sister of Cinnamon. I think she was sent too us special delivery  Smile

She has become a part of our family.

So, our purrfections know us, they love us and I do believe they help us.

Even after they go to Rainbow Bridge, they remain forever close to our hearts

Click the Rainbow Bridge for a message from your beloved animal




Purrby’s Place (A wealth of Information)

China’s Place and Minnie’s Place can be found below. They’re hanging out with the birds and fish.

The Aviary and the Cats

The Butterfly has Wings

These thoughts were occupying my mind last night as I prepared to sleep. Oddly enough with other things on my mind I dreamed I was back in Tangier. We were remembered and everything seemed so much the same.

Many things are coming to mind.


We stay safe in our cocoons, waiting for the right moment when we emerge as the beautiful creature the universe intended us to be.  Ready to fly.

Some persons hate change, they can not cope with it and would prefer everything to stay neat and tiny, organized and comfortable. This is not realistic. Things happen, people do change, they move away, they leave this earthly plane.

Do we have the tendencies to fear change because inevitably someone gets bruised ?

Are our minds so set in not rocking the boat so too speak that we miss the experience all together ?

I believe in living each day the best I can. I deal with situations that arise with minimal thought. I make an effort to NOT over think everything.

I try to not make assumptions and let the universal plan move forward without interference.

When someone we care about (I Love you Long Time) comes to mind. When this person hurts us, disrespects us and gives us so little in regards to what we give or have given them. Perhaps this person is ill, growing older and facing all the changes coming into their life. We know not their heart.

Geez, how much do we know of our own heart ?

An example. A couple is married for many years (26). The husband decides to leave the relationship after the children are grown. The couple do not divorce but live separately for over 5 years. The husband reconsiders what life has presented him with and wants another chance. The wife in the mean time has been struck by loves swift arrow when she wasn’t even looking. The husband is hurt and feels betrayed. How, I ask can he validate his feelings?

It’s as if she has been encased in this small cocoon, safe and sound, waiting to emerge. She used the excuse of perks but no commitment because she was already married. In name only.

As she emerged into the world she realized that love was attainable and she embraced it. At long last she in turn has become the transformation she desired and could finally realize.

Comments welcome at my Facebook page

Eclectic Avenue (Cryominute)

Just Faces

Seen the movie Mr. Nice tonight. Buffy had recorded it. We had never heard of it. Yet, it is a true story of drug smuggling, Ireland, and  bureaucracy.
It led me to instigate a word press blog post.  Been a bit non-committal of late with blogging.

I went to my posts on Morocco and found the one that tells the best of Tangier. The streets, the people. The dead chickens swinging in the putrid air.

Road to Tangier

I remember staying late into the night at Baba’s. The cafe the Rolling Stones frequented during visits. It was an ethereal world of burning incense. The swirls of hashish circling and weaving the room covered with mats.


It must not have bothered me walking down the narrow stairs, the crooked steps that led from Baba’s back into the Medina and then the Petit Succo where we would get a cab the remainder of the way back uptown to 62 Rue Delacroix.

Buffy was invariably sleeping and her dad usually carried her. In retrospect this was a good thing because I would have probably been unable to do so in my state of oblivion.

Months before, when we first came into the city we were broke. I would meet men. My mate would arrange the set ups. I recall it was always in a huge place and others seemed to be doing the same thing so it really didn’t bother me. The man would order a complete feast of food for us. Then I would go off with him and hubby would stay with Buffy. I was never gone long and always came back with a good sum of money.

Mohammad the man who rented the apartment to us grabbed me one day and pinned me up against the wall and fucked me. Things were always fast and impersonal. He had flowers delivered to our apartment and a note saying the rent was free for the following month.

My hubby did not arrange that one it just happened. Many men were called Mohammad. On one occasion I was told to go inside. I looked to see that they had prevented him from entry. I seen him leaning up against the door as I entered the room. That was a bit frightening for me.

After he was busted I was only with Ahmad the man we met on Halloween prior to my husband’s arrest on conspiracy charges.

It was better for me and safer. The other men were just faces in the darkness. Fully dressed, sweaty, fumbling , intense, and in a hurry. That was fine.

Ahmad had a beautiful face. He was in his late 40’s I suppose, married to several women and had many children. He was wealthy and shared his wealth as only Philanthropists do. He resembled Jimi Hendricks and was known as “Hole in the Head” He was also known as “King of the Hashish” The high was dreamy and detached, like that of opium or a sedative-hypnotic prescription drug, combined with a mildly hallucinogenic overlay. It was smoked in a jeweled golden sipsi. My shoes falling behind me as I walked from the hash den, looking down I realized they were on my feet?

Tripping off of smoke

When we returned to the States we could not get high on any pot or hash that our friends said was the best. We had been spoiled and it took some time for the effects we experienced in Tangier to dissipate.

Even now after all these years when I smoke a chillum, take a bong hit or a few tokes I am seemingly reconnected to the same high I experienced in Tangier.

He expanded. When I was there in 1971, he had the back room as the Bain. Then from the back, more pillows and the stairs leading to the loft. I guess he went up, the only way you can go.

Tangiers’ sheltering, and ever inspiring, vividly blue sky.

Ahmed a(h)-med as a boy’s name is pronounced AH-med. It is of Arabic origin, and the meaning of Ahmed is “highly praised or one who constantly thanks God”. One of the many names of the prophet Muhammad, and popular with American Muslims.

Ahmed has 10 variant forms: Achmad, Achmed, Ahmaad, Ahmad, Ahmet, Ahmod, Amad, Amadi, Amahd and Amed.

He gave food and clothing to the children in the mountains in the coldest of winter. Jilbab’s to warm them and shoes for their bare feet.


In every café a picture of him was right there along with the prized picture of King Hassan.  He knew what he wanted and he secured what he wanted. I was his chosen one. Now, I realize I was chosen only until I no longer obeyed him. I obeyed him unknowingly at times, his will had a control over me.

So many chances, and so many times I was in serious circumstances and did not even know the extent of the darkness I had allowed.

This is an attempt at rewriting a chapter of my story about my stay in Tangier. I left so much out.

My Feelings.

Story Excerpt “Jasmine Remains”

I allowed myself to be used by my husband because I felt I needed to survive. Being in a foreign country, having just one person that is supposed to be your savior in all ways to allow such things to happen. Shaking my head at the betrayal of it.

I was raised to believe that you believe in your husband and that you do what needs to be done to keep things operating smoothly. I grew up on that journey. Coming back home to the states it did not take me long to separate myself from him. Maybe it was the times, free love, intoxication of drugs and a different thought process.

Regretfully, but for some unknown reason or reasons I allowed myself to be used and abused in future relationships. My self-esteem seemed to have no cares.

I began to realize that I used men for love and attention. Many years it involved going down the wrong paths and falling into all the wrong holes in the sidewalk.

I feel free.

I am not involved with anyone romantically, but I know if that feeling ever comes my way again I will value and appreciate the powerful force that I am.

I will never allow abuse from anyone in the name of love, drugs or insecurities.

I will no longer be drained by their vampirism need to control. I am in control. I hold my own reigns.

My ongoing journey is progressing smoothly Smile

This song reminds me of my sojourn. It’s Jazz the way I like it too.

Well I’m buckled up inside
It’s a miracle that I’m alive
I do not think I can survive
On bread and wine alone
To think that I could have fallen
A centimeter to the left
Would not be here to see the sunset
Or have myself a time
Well why do the hands of time
So easily unwind
Some lessons we learn the hard way
Some lessons don’t come easy
That’s the price we have to pay
Some lessons we learn the hard way
They don’t come right off and right easy
That’s why they say some lessons learned we learn the hard way
Remember the sound of the pavement
World turned upside down
City streets unlined and empty
Not a soul around
Life goes away in a flash
Right before your eyes
If I think real hard well I reckon
I’ve had some real good times
Well why do the hands of time
So easily unwind
Some lessons we learn the hard way
Some lessons don’t come easy
That’s the price we have to pay
Some lessons we learn the hard way
They don’t come right off and right easy
That’s why they say some lessons learned we learn the hard way