I was reminded of something of importance last evening in a overt manner .
As a former drama queen it resonated with me.
Many are similar in dealing with the aftermath of breakups in relationships.
I can not fault anyone for the ongoing drama in the rollercoaster of one’s mind.
The what if’s and why scenario’s.
Why did he do this too me?
Why did I allow him to treat me so badly IF it could only inadvertently result in relationship deterioration and breakdowns. Why did I tolerate the crap so long?
We become so desensitized to the conflict drama and ongoing belittlement of us.We get used to feeling like we in fact must be the crazee one, or why would they not have loved us as they promised too do in the beginnings of the relationship.
Initially, he’s the man of your dreams, then he becomes maddeningly unavailable.This is coming from a deep place of fear that he’s not hearing or understanding you, so you feel compelled to pursue a resolution very intensely.
Depending on the guy, he’ll either give in and continue the fight or pull away and make you feel even more neglected.
It’s easy to chalk that up to the men you’re in a relationship with.
While they certainly may be at fault if you truly start to feel as though they’re always the same, you might be the common denominator.
You~They may have a self-imposed doormat policy in effect and not even know it.
The important thing to remember is it’s this loss of routine that is causing you pain. Don’t make the mistake of misinterpreting this pain as being intrinsically connected to the love you shared with your ex.
Settling means, at some level, you resent (i.e. resist) some of these differences but choose to live with them because it would be too uncomfortable or scary to do otherwise. The trouble with settling is it tends to grow like a cancer until you’ve found that your entire relationship is just one big resentment-filled settlement (i.e. you are now officially just roommates).
or perhaps THEY are like a comfy pair of bedroom slippers you have a problem letting go of.
In psychology, desensitization is defined as the diminished emotional responsiveness to a negative, aversion or positive stimulus after repeated exposure to it.
Some persons have a defined relationship where they thrive on drama … They have become addicted to the dysfunction, the toxicity of their relationship to the point that they have lost the meaning of what is healthy, what is normal, and what they as individuals deserve.
Drama is like a game of ping pong. Someone has to hit the ball back to you if you want to have a game. When you refuse to play, their drama gets diffused. As they see your commitment to this new way of life, their drama will begin to decrease.
The bottom line? Someone doesn’t have to be a bad person to not be good for you.
and you are not a bad person for wanting too be happy in a dysfunctional world of betrayals.